Like Father, Like Son

 Happy Father's Day! In America and around the world this day has been set aside to show our honor and gratitude to fathers for all they do and have done to raise their families. The sacrificial love of a father knows no boundaries and has no limits. I am grateful for the years that I had my dad, and I am thankful that I can look back and see the myriad life lessons he taught me through the life he lived and the sacrifices he made. Thank you dad!

 

Throughout my childhood and on into the teen years and early adulthood I made many mistakes and loads of bad choices, some of which I most certainly did not deserve forgiveness for from Joe E. Carter. Regardless of the mess I made, my father was there to help me sort out what needed to be done to correct a wrong, or clean up my mess. It would have been easy for him to turn his back on me, but he never did. I'm certain many of you could share similar memories of how your own father was there when you needed him most. Precious memories for sure. But, what about those fathers and sons who have taken a stance of bitter judgement or grievous betrayal? When the actions of the son warrant consequences, do we pass judgement or do we give the same kind of forgiveness that was shared with each of us?

 

I know fathers and sons or daughters who have not spoken in years due to bad choices and mistakes that have created lasting scars in their family relationship. In some cases, the father is waiting on the prodigal son to return, willing to accept the son, but waiting on the son to make the first step home. In other cases, both father and son feel they are in the right and they are waiting on the other to admit their guilt and ask for the other's forgiveness. In either situation, the end result is an estranged relationship between father and son. Son messes up, father holds a grudge and will not forgive, son is hurt and gets offended, and suddenly the Berlin Wall has been cast between a father and son that played ball together in the backyard just a few years earlier. Unfortunately, I know of several situations like this that have gone on for years, creating a void of paternal tutelage and most importantly love. This fragmented relationship is heartbreaking in itself, but have you ever heard the old saying, "Like father, like son"? Meaning the ways of the father, many times become the same exact ways of the son. Grandfathers, who among you have a desire to see the relationship between your son and your grandson or granddaughter severed by the grudgement you created between you and your son? To me that would be even more heartbreaking. Yet just as the old saying goes, we teach our children through our actions not our words. If we are unwilling to forgive, how can we expect to teach our children to forgive? It is a cycle that should not be fostered and embellished, instead we should look to a Father and Son example that provide a model to follow. 

 

Two examples of forgiveness given when it was not earned or even deserved exemplify the template for us as fathers and mothers, sons or daughters. John 3:16 tells us "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.", God loved a sin-laden world that had turned its back on Him. God loved us so much that He was willing to provide a pathway to forgiveness and life eternal with Him in Heaven, even if the cost of doing that meant that His only Son, Jesus, would ultimately become the purchase price for His forgiveness to be given. What an example of sacrificial love. Then just as "Like Father, like Son" Jesus followed the same precedent set by His Father and accepted the cross and asked His Father to forgive the very crowd that demanded He be crucified. Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” Luke 23:34. The choice Jesus made to ask for forgiveness to those who persecuted Him, was made because His Father, our Heavenly Father chose first to forgive the world that had turned its back on Him.

I am blessed to have my daughter, son-in-law, son, and nephew/son. I am also blessed to have a positive nurturing relationship with all four. They each make mistakes, and God knows I have made my share of mishaps along the way. I am grateful that we have not allowed life to get in the way of our relationships. Sadly, that is not the case for everyone out there today. My charge to fathers, grandfathers, sons, and daughters is to not let the past dictate the future of your family's relationships. Your words will be heard, but your actions will speak volumes over any words you convey. Follow the example of the Father, and be the father that sets the example of how your son or daughter will engage in forgiving their own child. 

"Like the Father, like the Son!"

Coach Carter