Contentment or Comparison

I recently listened to a series by Pastors Chip and Ryan Ingram on the topic of relational intelligence in which one of the sermons was on the idea of "being happy". The premise of the message was that the mindset of "happiness" or contentment doesn't come with the completion of a checklist of goals or items attained, but more from a sense of a life well lived. I'd like to spend just a few minutes today discussing how to be "happy" and how to get to that place of contentment. 

If you ask most parents they will tell you that what they want most in life for their children is for them to be happy. Happy at Christmas, happy on their birthday, happy, happy every day of their lives. Nothing wrong with that at all, I pray regularly for my children's health and happiness in life. If you surveyed a group of adults and asked the same about their life goals, being happy would probably rank at the top of the list. There again nothing out of line there. The trouble with this whole idea of "being happy" is what we perceive as the route to reach that happiness and the components of what we believe will actually "make" us happy. The title of today's FTM is "Contentment or Comparison" because in our society today we are fixated on evaluating our level of happiness in relationship to the lives of others we know or see on television, social media, or any of a numerous other marketing platforms we are bombarded with each day. The question you must ask yourself at the end of the day is this; am I happy because of what I have or am I happy because I have what I need? 

If what you have or want to have is what is going to make you happy, please be forewarned, you will never be happy. There is always going to be the next thing, the newer model, the better choice that you will always be seeking. Is it alright to want better for your family and self? Yes, but if your happiness is dependent on having or attaining then that is where the alignment gets out of whack. The American Dream as it has been termed is to have a family, a home, a secure career, and all the amenities that you want to make life easier and more comfortable. That is what will make you happy right? If that is the case why is the divorce rate almost 50% in our country? If having a home, a car, a boat, a supersized smart TV, or whatever it is that you are pursuing will make you happy, why is it that home foreclosures, loan defaults, and broken down "toys" are a constant and familiar spectacle? I don't believe it is the "thing" that we believe will make us happy, no it is actually the attainment level of getting and being like our neighbor that we believe will make us "happy". Unfortunately, that route to happiness just won't work and any degree of "happiness" you might feel if you are caught up in comparing your life to the life of others you see in life will be fleeting at best and will always be coupled with the next euphoric goal to attain as your driving force towards "happiness".

The Apostle Paul speaks about being happy in Philippians 4:11-12 as he explains, "... I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want." Paul was happy with his life. Could he have been more comfortable with a better, faster mule and a bigger, better tent? Of course. Would Paul all of a sudden have been happier if he received those gifts? Based on his proclamation above I just don't think that would have mattered in his pursuit of "happiness". I believe Paul is telling us that regardless of what you have or what you don't have, you must be able to be content in that current state of being. This is the true pathway to being happy and being content in life.

Man is driven to compete, I am a competitive person that's why I have coached over 30 years of my adult life. In our drive to compete we often get caught up in comparing ourselves to others. We actually begin to covet what they have and begin to dwell on how we can get what they have so that we can be more content in what we have. That is a cycle that only goes around in a circle. Once your life gets stuck on that track you will never reach contentment, only the need to get the next newest model or the bigger, better version of the one you have now. That is not the recipe for happiness and actually will only lead to emptiness and an unfulfilled life. But there is a path to happiness that is readily available and easily attained. 

If I'm hungry I can choose to complain about my current status, or I can reflect on the fact that as a country we throw away more food daily than most countries touch in a week or month or even a year. If I am unhappy because my neighbor just bought a brand new forty something foot tricked out RV and I only have a thirty-five foot tricked out later model RV then I only have to stop and think about how fortunate I am to even have a home with a real roof, windows, and doors on it, and that I have cool air in the summer and I have warm heat in the winter to keep my family warm and then all of a sudden what model of RV I have moves out of my mind and the thankfulness for the more basic things I do have takes center stage in my mind. Hamburger or filet? Ford or Ferrari? You can't buy happiness, you have to be content in what and where you are right now in life before you can ever be happy in life with all the bells and whistles attached. 

Today, check yourself, are you in search of the next thing on your list that is going to "make you happy"? Do you think frequently that if you could just get that new job, new house, new husband, or new wife you would instantly be happy? Well that won't happen, the only route to try contentment in this world is to be content with the world you are living in at this current moment. A life well lived will tell you that it isn't the things in your life that make you happy, it is the memories that are made spending quality time with family, friends, and our Creator in Heaven. Be content with who you are and where you are right now today and then you can be content and happy wherever you may be and whatever you find yourself doing in this life you have been given to live!

Be Happy!

Coach Carter