I recently listened to a sermon from Chip Ingram on the subject of relationships and the visual he utilized, although on an audial platform, was as vivid a picture as I will ever see. Ingram's sermon was about the relationship bound through marriage, but I would suggest that the same visual aid Pastor Ingram provided for his sermon on the marriage relationship is just as applicable in our work relationships, friendships, classroom relationships for those in education, oh what the heck this visual is pretty darn good for just about any type of relationship you can imagine. In our time together today, I'd like to share my "Aha" takeaways from his message.
First, get the visual of a triangle in your mind. Got it, yeah three equal sides, three connecting points, a peak at the tip of the triangle, and two points extended out away from each other. I believe my dear colleague and mathematician extraordinaire, Jeff Kinsler might even be impressed with my math application here! Okay, so you've got that image in your head now place yourself at one of the bottom points of your triangle, then place your spouse, students, co-worker, family member, _______ you fill in the blank, at the other side of your triangle's base. Got it? Now you probably have guessed what goes at the top of the triangle, you guessed it God. Triangular perfection! What you need to be able to see is that the two points at the bottom of the triangle are as far apart from each other as they are from the tip of the triangle at the top. This may all seem really elementary to you, but this is where the visualization really hit home for me. In a relationship, I believe it would be safe to say that the ultimate goal is for the two entities in that relationship "partnership" to get closer so that their working outcomes are more beneficial to all involved. I guess that's why the institution of marriage brings two together to become one. If we want our relationships to improve, albeit, get closer to one another then the points on our triangle have to move in one distinct direction, in tandem, towards the tip of the triangle.
I'm sure there's some math principle out there, "Help Jeff", that explains this, but for our purposes today, we'll just agree that as two points get closer together they come closer to being unified as one. In our relationships, the further away from the tip of our relationship triangle, God, we are the harder it is going to be for us to be a functioning, productive partnership. Apply this to your marriage, if you are living outside of Biblical principles in your marriage and your relationship with God is strained at best or non-existent at worst, then what will you use to bring that divide together. What will be the force of nature that will bring those two distant points together? When adversity rises its head and your working relationship with your business partner or the company is at jeopardy what business technique will be utilized to bring the two together? As a coach, if conflict exists between the coach and her team what relationship building techniques will bridge that great divide? In all of the aforementioned instances the only way to bridge that gulf is to create equal vertical movement towards the tip of the relational triangle. In my vision of that tip of the triangle I see the word GOD!
If one point of the triangle is working in that vertical direction that's great, but if we are talking about relationships, and it's all about relationships, both sides of the triangle have to be moving in unison towards the tip or the distance continues to broaden and that actually works against the whole concept of being unified. Each clip of shared movement in the direction of the tip of the triangle creates visual evidence that the two distant "partners to be" are gaining momentum and getting closer to each other as they also get closer to God and His plans for their lives.
"Come near to God and he will come near to you." James 4:8 proclaims. That is the plan for successful relationships. Plain and simple as it is, as basic a shape as you can get outside of the circle or square, the triangular trajectory of our relationships here on this earth is totally dependent on how close we are to the tip, GOD, of our triangle. How do we do that in our everyday life you ask? Well for me it means living out our relationship with God and inviting others to come along with us on that journey. What if the other party is reluctant or adamantly refuses to go along with you? It is my belief that we don't just leave them behind, that could lead to a broken triangle if the distance gets too expansive. When one point of our triangle isn't moving in the same trajectory that you are, don't slow down so they can catch up, but instead throw them a line and tow them along with you inching your way towards that point of the triangle you are striving and working towards. All the time hand over hand towing that line in closer to you and in return guiding them closer to our Creator.
Sounds simplistic too some possibly. That's okay in reality it is meant to be a simple equation. You, your partner, and God working in unison to come to a place where the synergy is directed upwards, climbing and sometimes pushing and pulling each other towards that tip of the triangle. That tip of the triangle is the secret to relationship success. Jesus said it best in John 14:23 “Anyone who loves me will obey my teaching. My Father will love them, and we will come to them and make our home with them." If your desire, which it should be your desire, is for your relationships in all areas of your life to be productive and successful then draw close to the tip of that triangle!
Coach Carter
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