"What's Love Got to Do with It?"

     
     This past week we celebrated Valentine's Day with sales of candy, cards, stuffed teddy bears, and roses boosting our economy. Candle lite dinners and romantic excursions may have even been the fare for a great number of couples. Some of us, with much chagrin, said "Yeah right!" to that last statement. Candle lite dinners become happy meals through the drive-thru and romantic excursions are exchanged for gymnastic lessons or a rec league ballgame. Yet, we use three little words to confirm that regardless of where we are in our relationships, we are still committed and connected to each other. "I love you" carries so much responsibility in our society, but I fear the meaning of those three little words may be get lost in our vocabulary and conversations today.
     Tina Turner sang the song "What's Love Got to Do with It?" in which she basically was asking the question, does love have to be involved in a relationship? The lyrics call love a second- hand emotion, one that doesn't have to be part of a physical ongoing relationship. In today's society, the "I love you" phrase has in many cases became a common parting phrase much like "so long, adios, or see you later". Saying I love you shouldn't be and isn't just a phrase or even just a feeling. For those of us that are married, when we said I love you and asked our future spouse to marry us, we were making a commitment that would endure sickness, hardships, and difficult challenges to the bond we forged in our vows. For those that are single, but definitely in a relationship, saying I love you places your relationship on a different level. In a courtship saying I love you places a couple together in a bond of trust and commitment. I guess my answer to the queen of rock n rolls question would be, "what's love got to do with it?" Everything!
      It isn't just in marriage or dating relationships. We tell our parents we love them, our children find peace and comfort in hearing those three little words, and we even use this proclamation with our friends, and many times our colleagues. I guess my questions would be what is the true meaning of the phrase "I love you"? What do we really mean? Has it lost its luster and relevance? And, have we as a society lessened the responsibility and commitment that this small yet powerful phrase conveys?
      The Bible is a great source for understanding what saying the words I love you actually means. In Matthew 22:35-40 Jesus was being quizzed by some religious leaders of the day when they asked Him, what is the greatest commandment to which Jesus replied "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind." And then He went on to say that we should "love our neighbor as ourselves". I John 4:20 tells us that we can't claim that we love God that we haven't seen, if we don't love our brother that we have seen. And in John 15:13-17 Jesus proclaims that there is no greater demonstration of love than for a person to lay down his life for another and then He finishes up that thought with His command to "love one another". These scriptures are just the tip of the iceberg for what the word of God teaches us about the word love. Throughout the Bible the message is clear, telling someone you love them isn't about you, it is clearly all about the person you are directing that phrase. 
      When we tell someone we love them then, what exactly are we saying? Well, according to the scriptures above, we are saying that we would lay down our lives for someone else, and that we should honor that relationship to a degree that it resembles the type of love that God has shown to us by sacrificing His only son so that we could be saved. True love equals total disregard for self. If we are going to use the words "I love you" they should carry that level of commitment. It shouldn't just be a phrase that we throw around casually in a temporary, unfixed manner. Instead, our declaration of love should be our word, it must withstand the storms of life, and endure the hardships, trials, and adversities that we all must and will encounter in life. Our declaration of "I love you" should mean that we will give and not expect anything in return, fore love isn't love if it is only given with limits or restrictions. When we say I love you, we must commit to that person and in our commitment know that at times we are going to feel like we are getting the short end of the stick in return, but just know that if you give your love unconditionally, then in your time of need, that love will be there supporting you because you loved first. 
 Coach Carter