Slow Down Your Reaction Time and Step Up Your Reflection Time

     Seems like today many people are prone to act out or speak out first, and then go back later to think about what was said and how it might have been taken or how it might have made the recipient of the comment feel. And that's okay. That's what asking for forgiveness is all about. We just have to remember that after we have "blurted" out what is on our mind it's there. It's not like we can rewind the tape and edit that part out, the words and thoughts we purvey are more like a cut or wound we might experience along life's journey.
     I remember when I was around sixteen my father included me in on a job to place a five strand barb wire fence around a farm he had bought and intended to place a herd of cattle. This required securing the boundaries of the property with the barbed wire. On more than one occasion I received cuts on my arms, legs, and body due to the razor sharp barbs on the fencing. One slip of the pullers and the wire would whip back towards the spool and in most cases result in a fresh incision on somebody's arm or other exposed area of flesh. Many times the injury would bleed, but not enough to be worried about getting stitches, and allowing the cut to scab over and eventually heal was usually all that was needed. Even after the healing process was complete though, sometimes there would be a reminder of that cut, a scar. The scars I acquired during that fencing job way back more than 40 years ago still remain on my arms and legs, bringing back memories of the very day I obtained them on that farm in Grassy Valley, Tennessee. If we are not careful with our words they will create those same type of wounds and eventual scars.
     Today's thought is titled "Slow Down Your Reaction Time and Step Up Your Reflection Time" for a very good reason. Words said in haste without time given to how the message will be received many times create wounds that will need to heal. Unfortunately, after the healing process the words we spoke that created the injury leave a scar. Just as scars on our flesh are there 40 years later the scars that remain from our rash words exist in our minds and our thoughts in most cases the rest of our lives. What we need to do has more to do with inaction than it does with an action.
     Bad day, stressful events, difficult person to deal with, several difficult persons to deal with, those are just a few of the reasons why we might react in a hurtful manner with our words on any given day. Unfortunately,  the person that ends up receiving the blunt end of our barrage isn't even the one that caused us to be in that place. In other situations we are in direct exchange with the person or persons that are about to receive a deep cut from our statements of vindication or provocation. I believe this is where we have to train ourselves to take a moment to reflect on what we are about to say before we react based solely off emotion and say something that will eventually leave a scar on someone's mind or memory.
     Just as the barb wire cut me on the surface sometimes and deeply in other instances our words and thoughts can be just as hurtful and lasting. Anger happens, bad days happen, triggers happen and each of us respond in our own manner. What I hope to inspire in you is to reflect first before you react. Take just a moment before you blow up or blow off some steam and think about what you are about to say and the lasting memory that your words will leave behind. I'm afraid too many of us don't think about the scar, most of us think "they'll get over it" and you are correct, they will get over it. Probably for the most part people will move on and not give another thought to what you have just said. In other cases the words may be forgiven or forgotten on the surface, but after the apology has been offered or the thought has been placed in storage the scar will linger on and on.
     In my profession working directly with young minds it is critical that I  utilize this reflection strategy relentlessly. The words of teachers carry a great amount of weight on a child's self concept so it is critically important that we think before we speak. Guess what? It's the same for our colleagues, our spouses, friends, relatives, and yes even the person we pass on our journey each day. At work, home, or out to eat at your favorite restaurant we all have interactions and opportunities to react before we reflect. Start today giving some time to your thoughts before you open your mouth to express those thoughts. It's definitely a process, too often speaking before we think it through is a fault we could all be labelled guilty. But if we exercise the art of reflection it can become more of who we are and more of how we respond in adverse situations. Our goal in life should be to leave memories not scars. Have a fantastic week!

Proverbs 18:21 “Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits.”