Slow Down Your Reaction Time and Step Up Your Reflection Time

     Seems like today many people are prone to act out or speak out first, and then go back later to think about what was said and how it might have been taken or how it might have made the recipient of the comment feel. And that's okay. That's what asking for forgiveness is all about. We just have to remember that after we have "blurted" out what is on our mind it's there. It's not like we can rewind the tape and edit that part out, the words and thoughts we purvey are more like a cut or wound we might experience along life's journey.
     I remember when I was around sixteen my father included me in on a job to place a five strand barb wire fence around a farm he had bought and intended to place a herd of cattle. This required securing the boundaries of the property with the barbed wire. On more than one occasion I received cuts on my arms, legs, and body due to the razor sharp barbs on the fencing. One slip of the pullers and the wire would whip back towards the spool and in most cases result in a fresh incision on somebody's arm or other exposed area of flesh. Many times the injury would bleed, but not enough to be worried about getting stitches, and allowing the cut to scab over and eventually heal was usually all that was needed. Even after the healing process was complete though, sometimes there would be a reminder of that cut, a scar. The scars I acquired during that fencing job way back more than 40 years ago still remain on my arms and legs, bringing back memories of the very day I obtained them on that farm in Grassy Valley, Tennessee. If we are not careful with our words they will create those same type of wounds and eventual scars.
     Today's thought is titled "Slow Down Your Reaction Time and Step Up Your Reflection Time" for a very good reason. Words said in haste without time given to how the message will be received many times create wounds that will need to heal. Unfortunately, after the healing process the words we spoke that created the injury leave a scar. Just as scars on our flesh are there 40 years later the scars that remain from our rash words exist in our minds and our thoughts in most cases the rest of our lives. What we need to do has more to do with inaction than it does with an action.
     Bad day, stressful events, difficult person to deal with, several difficult persons to deal with, those are just a few of the reasons why we might react in a hurtful manner with our words on any given day. Unfortunately,  the person that ends up receiving the blunt end of our barrage isn't even the one that caused us to be in that place. In other situations we are in direct exchange with the person or persons that are about to receive a deep cut from our statements of vindication or provocation. I believe this is where we have to train ourselves to take a moment to reflect on what we are about to say before we react based solely off emotion and say something that will eventually leave a scar on someone's mind or memory.
     Just as the barb wire cut me on the surface sometimes and deeply in other instances our words and thoughts can be just as hurtful and lasting. Anger happens, bad days happen, triggers happen and each of us respond in our own manner. What I hope to inspire in you is to reflect first before you react. Take just a moment before you blow up or blow off some steam and think about what you are about to say and the lasting memory that your words will leave behind. I'm afraid too many of us don't think about the scar, most of us think "they'll get over it" and you are correct, they will get over it. Probably for the most part people will move on and not give another thought to what you have just said. In other cases the words may be forgiven or forgotten on the surface, but after the apology has been offered or the thought has been placed in storage the scar will linger on and on.
     In my profession working directly with young minds it is critical that I  utilize this reflection strategy relentlessly. The words of teachers carry a great amount of weight on a child's self concept so it is critically important that we think before we speak. Guess what? It's the same for our colleagues, our spouses, friends, relatives, and yes even the person we pass on our journey each day. At work, home, or out to eat at your favorite restaurant we all have interactions and opportunities to react before we reflect. Start today giving some time to your thoughts before you open your mouth to express those thoughts. It's definitely a process, too often speaking before we think it through is a fault we could all be labelled guilty. But if we exercise the art of reflection it can become more of who we are and more of how we respond in adverse situations. Our goal in life should be to leave memories not scars. Have a fantastic week!

Proverbs 18:21 “Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits.”

Squirrels are Relentless, How About You?

     This past week I was fortunate to experience "Fall Break" which meant no school, yet my schedule was pretty much filled  with tasks, honey-do list items, and yes also some rest and relaxation. I am blessed in where we live due in part to the teeming wildlife that surrounds our wooded, lake home. Deer, raccoon, rabbits, birds of all types including American Bald Eagles all frequent the area throughout the year. One additional "critter" that lives in abundance is the squirrel population. Squirrels are a sight to sit and watch and during some of my down time from my job's list, I spent some quality time just watching the squirrels. In particular I watched the squirrels put forth a relentless attack on a bird feeder I had placed on a bent pole designed to keep the squirrels out and allow the birds to feed throughout the winter. Not only was the pole design meant to be a deterrent, but the bird feeder itself offers a built in deterrent in a feature that closes the opening to the seed when too much pressure is placed on the perch area. Not that I am against feeding our squirrels, but as the name suggests this particular device is called a "bird" feeder for a reason.
     As I previously stated squirrels are relentless. Their ingenuity and cleverness in their myriad attempts to access the contents of the bird feeder were amazing to watch and acrobatic in performance to provide a visual description. Stretching as far out from the stem of the pole as possible, barely able to grasp the tip of the bird feeder, squirrel by squirrel they attempted to get at the seed to fill their own jaws for winter storage. A couple of the lighter weight squirrels performed a "flag pole" type climb and then embarked the upside down portion of the pole by hanging on by just a foot grasp and an extended upper hand clasp. Really I was waiting to see if the ingenious bunch would decide to make a human ladder of squirrels stacked up on each others shoulders. In their attempts and the ultimate failures and occasional successes they experienced I noticed one underlying theme that struck me quite off guard. The squirrels I observed saw something they wanted and they were not going to be denied. They set their minds to the object of their quest and then they went about the business of doing what needed to be done to reach their goal. They were RELENTLESS! That is where the underlying theme kicked in, how relentless are we in our pursuit of our goals and our aspirations?
     Just as the squirrels attacked the bird feeder from every direction possible and just as they stretched their bodies out to the point that I wondered if they were going to disconnect their arms from their bodies, we must develop that same level of resiliency in life if we really want to fulfill our purpose in life. We must be willing to look at our pursuit from multiple viewpoints and we must stretch ourselves to limits beyond where we thought we were bound. If something you want to accomplish in life is worthy of your pursuit then it only stands to reason that you will go beyond what is normal to reach your destination.
     If your pursuits don't seem worth the stretch and the effort then more than likely it isn't a goal worthy of pursuing anyway. The pursuit of materialism, self-centered goals, and the quest of power for power's sake are a few goals that would not deem themselves as worthy of this type of relentless pursuit. Yet on the other hand, if your pursuit deals in helping others, teaching others, learning more so you can be a better more capable leader, or more importantly you are in pursuit of following the plan that God has set for your life then you should be relentless to a fault!
     Through prayer, planning, and a never give up attitude you will find an answer for your quest, you will breach the divide that has kept you out of reach of your destination. You my friend just need to be a little more "squirrely"! Don't ever give up and don't ever quit and always give your best!
1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
¹⁶ Rejoice always, ¹⁷ pray continually, ¹⁸ give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

Looking forward to the week and the pursuit of being RELENTLESS!

Coach Carter

Time is an Invaluable Treasure, Spend it Wisely

     If you know me and even if you have only been introduced to me through this blog, I would hope you have gathered that I am a relentless optimist. Whether it is an inborn trait passed on from an amazing set of parents and grandparents, or whether it has been nurtured in me through trials, experiences, and a lifetime of living out my mantra of "never give up and never quit", I fully believe the glass is half full and maybe just a little bit above halfway! Coupled with that optimistic mindset there has to be a certain degree of realism stirred into the mix and when I say realism I'm talking about the realism associated with the inevitable aspects of life. Whether I believe the sun is going to come up tomorrow or not it is going to, whether I believe good will overcome evil in the end it will, and whether I believe I am going to live forever or not I will most assuredly pass from this life at some point! The question is do you understand that the sand in your hour glass is not running north? I came to a realization a year or so ago and it has dramatically impacted my outlook on living, I'd like to share it with you in hopes that it motivates you to take action over inaction today!
     I have a book case set of shelves in my office and over the years I have collected certain items that have a special meaning or are a reminder of an event in my life that has made a lasting impression on my life and provides me with stories to share with students, staff members, and other guests that visit me at school. One of those items is an hourglass that was designed with a three minute mark. Turning the glass upside down of course creates a downward stream of white granular specks flowing, as gravity would cause, towards the bottom of the glass encasement. On one particular occasion I had an epiphany of sorts in that as the grains lessened in the top portion of the glass I realized that I along with the rest of the world's 7.4 billion inhabitants have one thing in common. None of us is gaining grains of sand in our hourglass. Now don't start labeling me a pessimist or someone with a negative outlook yet. No. for me this "Aha" moment if you will wasn't a negative for my mind it was a call to action that has had a positive impact on my life ever since I came to understand the truth behind "time".
     To sit around waiting on the right time to do something is the exact type of thinking that will cause you to miss out on life and the opportunities that you need and want to take advantage of, yet for some reason we think we will have more "time" later to do the very thing that needs to be done now! A friend of mine gave me a little round piece of wood close in size to a quarter and written on both sides of the wooden coin is the word "toit". Puzzled, I inquired what the meaning of the inscription on the coin meant to which my benefactor replied, "This is for you when your answer to someone about when you are going to do something is I'll do it when I get around to it.  Now you have a round "toit" so you have no excuse on procrastinating about a project or about some time to spend with someone you need to be spending time." My round "toit" sits on the same shelf near my hourglass.
     People, when are we going to start living our lives like we don't have a tomorrow instead of like we have an unlimited number of tomorrows to put off today until we decide it is the right tomorrow. When will we start realizing that our tomorrows are almost over and the opportunity is streaming down through the tiny opening in the glass that now feels like it is the width of the mouth of the Nile River? Solomon the author of the Book of Ecclesiastes admonishes us in chapter 3 that "There is a time for everything,
    and a season for every activity under the heavens:

²     a time to be born and a time to die,
    a time to plant and a time to uproot,
³     a time to kill and a time to heal,
    a time to tear down and a time to build,
⁴     a time to weep and a time to laugh,
    a time to mourn and a time to dance,
⁵     a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
    a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
⁶     a time to search and a time to give up,
    a time to keep and a time to throw away,
⁷     a time to tear and a time to mend,
    a time to be silent and a time to speak,
⁸     a time to love and a time to hate,
    a time for war and a time for peace."

With that in mind when do you think you need to get started? Most of us don't go around thinking about the time we have left on this rock, but instead as we age we begin planning for our retirement and our end of time plans. Why should we be thinking about the end? Why don't we think about the beginning we are provided each and every day. Each day we receive is a gift and we have the opportunity, no the responsibility to make the most out of each and every day. 

      Spend more "time" with your children while you have "time". Find a cause or an organization that you can connect to and spend "time" investing in helping others more than the "time" you spend worrying about yourself. Turn off the tube, take a walk, read a book, read The Book, plant a tree, plant an orchard, help a child, or start a non-profit to help a population of children. Find something to get involved in, donate your time to an organization that is already established, or just go visit someone you haven't seen in awhile and just be a friend. Keep in mind spending "time" doesn't cost anything, but the impact of the  investment of "time" cannot be calculated, nor can it be compared to all the other things we spend our "time" doing. Work, meetings, deadlines, TV time, sitting around, playing video games,  or laying around in the bed are things that so many of us spend our "time" doing and the return on these types of investments will not do much for us or for those we love, or for those we could be helping. I guess the bottom line here is this; should we go around thinking about how much time we have left before we die, or should we be giving thanks for each moment of each day we are granted and then go out and spend our time investing in people, causes, and service to others that will leave a legacy of hope, faith, and love for our future generations and for those we come in contact with each and every day! As the grains of sand funnel through my hourglass the only thing I can see are the grains that are still in the top of my glass and as long as one grain of sand is left I want to see how much of an impact my God will allow me to make on my world! Wow, what a pump! Have a wonderful week, go out and take advantage of the gift you have been given! 

Coach Carter

Proper Preparation And Perseverance Prepares Us For Our Purpose

     The other day a colleague of mine at school shared a thought that later became today's title for our thought for the week. Jennifer Harbin actually shared this thought with our entire staff fueling some inspiration as our educators trek into the daily struggles and successes of teaching the masses. Little did she know that my topic for the week's thought was all about being trained and prepared to help others in life. So when I read Mrs. Harbin's alliterative quote I immediately borrowed it for my title this week. Thank you Jennifer for sharing your note of inspiration!
     In education or any field of labor it is mandatory to provide training to those that we hire so that they can more effectively do the job they have been hired to do. Sending someone out to fix a leaky pipe without any proper training in the skills of a plumber would be challenging at best for the worker and unfortunately more than likely a disaster for the owner of the leaky pipe as the house might get flooded before the pipe got repaired. So the message to gather at this point is to understand that the education each of us receives, the training we take part in, and the professional development we participate in isn't necessarily for us, it's for us to do a better job for the people we serve.
     As educators our teachers spend a great deal of time learning, perfecting, and adapting their craft. Obviously this builds up our skill set and prepares us to be better teachers. Training to be a better teacher is not worth a "hill of beans" if we don't apply the lessons learned in teaching our students. So here again it's important to understand we prepare, we learn, we grow, and we plan not for our benefit in our jobs, but we do all we do to help others whether it is students in schools, homeowners for skilled professionals, chefs for restaurants, or whatever the field is for those it serves. Follow me here I'm about to reach my point!
     The top three reasons people say they do not attend church are as follows: 1. It is irrelevant to my life, 2. People that attend church are hypocrites, and 3. The moral failure of church leaders keeps them from attending. Each of the top three reasons are all related to how the individual feels about church and how they personally feel about what church will or can do to affect them individually. Guess what people? Being involved in a church, reading your Bible, listening to inspirational messages and music, and developing a personal relationship with our maker isn't for you. Just as a professional constantly modifies and improves his or her craft for the benefit of his customer or client, we in life must have a positive influx of help and hope so we can be there for our spouses, children, friends, coworkers, or even the person we meet on our commute to work on any particular day. In other words being a part of a local body of Christ is not about me, it's all about what I can gain that will help me in my daily journey to help others.
     Now I receive daily training somewhere we all do each day. I choose to saturate myself in positive messages, inspiring music, and literature that invokes me with a sense that my purpose in life is so much more about what I can do to serve others than it is about what "I" can get out of life while I am here. The question you need to ask yourself today is where do you receive your daily training and who is providing that training? Maybe you get your training from television. I know there are some positive messages to be gained from television, but the majority of it is questionable at best. "Dating Naked", "Housewives of wherever", a host of murder detective series, or maybe even the "Survivor" series. Really? Good luck getting some positive messages to share with someone that is in need of a support from you. Possibly you get your daily training from watching professional sports figures. There are positive men and women involved in sports no doubt, but I'm not sure that we can encourage or invoke a sense of hope in the people we come in contact with on a daily basis by sharing the scores of last weekend's highlight reel. Or maybe you keep up with Hollywood's weekly marriage and divorce rate for your personal building up and education. There again what do you hope to gain from the onslaught of worldly views that plague our entertainment community

?
     Today ask yourself this question, Where do I receive my help in life so that I can be a help to others? Remember the training you receive isn't for you, you train yourself so that you can help others. It isn't about you! I can't stress that point enough, I can't put enough emphasis on the concept that what we do is not for our benefit it is all done so we can help others. So again in conclusion, where do you receive your help each day is the question you have to answer.  "Where does my help come from, my help comes from the Lord maker of Heaven and earth" Psalms 121:1-2.
     Have an awesome week and do something that will help you help others as you journey through the week!

Taking Turns

     As part of our job as educators it is important that we not only teach the core subjects of reading, math, science, and the social sciences, but also the intangibles of manners, etiquette, and other socially acceptable actions. One of the traits that primary and elementary teachers have to cross is that of teaching students the art of "taking turns". For many of our students the formal education setting is new and having to allow others to go first is something that has to be taught. Educators teach to "wait your turn", figure out "who's turn is it next?", and the skillful art of getting in line for a "turn". This is all a necessary part of becoming a functioning, well adapted part of society. We sure don't want adults out there breaking the line at a sold out movie, or walking into a crowded McDonald's and stroll right up to the cashier to place their order in front of everyone that is patiently waiting their turn in line. I suppose if it were a small child breaking the line most of us would not get too offended, yet when it is an adult that thought process would be slightly different, and well it should. The apostle Paul spoke to this topic in I Corinthians 13:11 as he commented, "When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things." The problem today is when it comes to taking turns in adulthood, it appears many people want someone else to take a turn while they sit back and watch. Guess what? It's YOUR turn!
    If you haven't figured it out by now let me be the first to enlighten you, there are an unlimited number of opportunities to serve in our own communities, states, nations, and abroad. You can volunteer, offer assistance, organize, start a drive, start a non-profit, step up, man up, whatever you want to label it but the main thing is to not allow others to do what you should be doing. It's YOUR turn! If you aren't sure where you want to be plugged in here are three quick action steps that will get you going in the right direction, Ask, Seek, and Knock (refer to Matthew 7:7 for more details on this one). The key to taking your turn is actually moving from thinking or talking about it and heading into the actual doing something about it mode.
     The recent protest by some of our professional athletes is rooted in good intentions, yet it is my opinion that good intentions that are not backed up by good actions are pretty much just words spoken. Tony Dungy, a highly successful National Football League coach and inspirational author and speaker recently related a story about something his father told him once about his actions. On the NFL Today show, Coach Dungy was being asked about the silent protest by athletes taking a knee during the playing of our national anthem and his response was that his father told him many years ago that "whatever you do make sure it will have a positive impact on others. If his actions would benefit others then it was a worthy investment of his time." That isn't the exact message, but you get the gist of what he was telling his son Tony. I would say the meaning of what the elder Dungy shared was to put your heart into something and then put your body into motion and go into action.
     Verbally supporting a cause or crying out that something must be done about an injustice in this world is all well and good, but guess what, it's YOUR turn to get involved. One of the athletes that has been in the forefront of the taking a knee protest is Colin Kapernick, the quaterback of the San Fransisco 49ers. Kapernick is attempting to bring attention to the social injustices that fill our news headlines and continue to shock and dismay. Mr. Kapernick has moved his involvement to the next level of stepping up by making a decision to donate one million dollars to communities and organizations that support communities in need. I would contend that this is a wonderful gesture on his part, and it absolutely does take money to make things happen, but to be completely honest, without people, without their hands and feet getting involved the money just won't get it done. It is going to take each of us stepping up to the plate and saying "it's MY turn!"
     It boils down to this, the things we want to see change, won't change until we do something about it ourselves. Attending church, placing our tithes in the offering plate, and then walking out the door until next Sunday is the pretty much the same thing as the silent protest that Kapernick is carrying out. We support the ministries of our local church or organizations with finances, but we must do more.  Or how about all of us that are paying our taxes, going to the polls and voting, but then heading back to the house and sitting on the couch watching the news and complaining about what is going on in our world. Until we accept the responsibility to "man up" and get involved with what we want to see change the "same old same old" will be the norm and change will not occur.
     We teach our children to "wait their turn", but as grown men and women it's time to take YOUR turn and invoke change that will have a positive impact on the world in which you live! Make a difference, make a change, it's YOUR turn!
Coach Carter