"What Motivates You?"

     A dear friend of mine who just happens to be my brother-in-law as well, Glen Kanipe, recently shared a story with me that really got the wheels in my mind turning. A few weeks ago as Glen was working on a project around the house he ended up at a lumber yard several times to pick up supplies. It seemed like each time he visited the supplier, there was this one young man that just always showed up to lend a hand in loading the materials that Glen had purchased. The young man was always eager to help and his eagerness gave off this sense of pride in the job he was doing so well. Glen, always the motivator, complimented the young man on his work ethic, which in turn garnered the reply that "Yeah my boss told me to stay busy and the customers with their purchases." But to Glen it was obvious that this young worker was doing it willingly and with satisfaction at the completion of each successful load into a customer's vehicle. Glen's reply to the young man was something like, "No I believe you're doing such a fine job because you are a hard worker and you're enjoying helping people." To that the young man smiled, said his good-byes, and went on to help the next customer.   
     The title of today's FTM Thought raises a simple yet complex question. In the world there are two types of motivators, extrinsic and intrinsic. Extrinsic motivators are rewards that we receive for a job well done. These can range from stickers if your toddler hits the cheerios in the potty up to a bonus or promotion at work for the completion of a project that helps your company succeed. Intrinsic rewards, on the other hand are more directly associated with that feeling you get when you know you just did a good thing, when you know what you did was the right thing to do. The "payoff" associated with intrinsic motivation isn't tangible, it's more of an internal, personal reward.
     In society today we have pretty much become a "what's in it for me?" type of culture. Kids are programmed to participate on athletic teams to win first place and get the trophy or medal instead of learning to appreciate the hard work that was put into the effort to compete regardless of the place you finish. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm a coach through and through and I want to win because I am competitive to the end, but I'm talking about what we do and why we do what we do. The thrive for the "gold" doesn't just rear it's head in athletics, it can range anywhere in our children's lives from the aforementioned potty training to the straight A's on the grade card, cleaning one's room for an allowance, and even the ice cream for eating your broccoli during the dinner meal.
     The problem is it doesn't stop in raising our children it just transfers into our lives as adults. We get to the point that we do not want to do anything more than we are required to do on our jobs unless there is an incentive attached to the completion of the task at hand. In our relationships many marriages have ended because one or both partners are asking the question "what have you done for me lately?" instead of "what can I do to make this a better relationship?" The "what's in it for me?"mentality is completely counter to what we should be teaching, training, and instilling in our circle of influence that we have contact with each day. Hopefully as you are reading this, it is making sense to you, if so do not fret and do not fear we have the answer provided to us, all we have to do is seek it, teach it, and live it out in our own lives as an example to others we know and all that we come in contact with along our daily walk.
     As I previously said when I coach I want to win and the teams I coach get prepared to compete in such a way that they have that opportunity to win. But to say winning a championship was my driving force would be out of line with my coaching philosophy. Over the years teams I  coached have won many championships, yet the trophies and awards are either collecting dust on a shelf somewhere or they are tucked away in a closet in a tote or box. I don't coach to win a trophy, I coach because over the years I have had so many of the kids I coached come up to me in the grocery store, mall, or at a restaurant and say "thank you" for what they took away from their wrestling or volleyball career. Most of the time their conversation relates to how what they learned in athletics has helped them in so many other ways in life. Now that is why I coach!
     As a principal I constantly challenge our staff that we want to be the best in every category possible, not because we want the credit or glory from awards, but instead it only reasons that if our teachers are the best, our students will in turn be receiving the best care and instruction possible. That is why I want our teachers to be the best!
     You see it isn't about what we get out of what we do, it's all about who we can help, who we can lead, who we can serve, and make a difference in their lives. The motivation that is enduring and most valuable is not going to be measured by how much we make or even what types of awards, trophies, raises, or bonuses we receive. The true value of our time on this earth will be measured by the internal knowledge we gain knowing that we have done all we can to help as many other people as possible with the goal of receiving nothing in return for that service.
     Just as the young man in our story at the beginning of today's message, "let your light so shine that all can see" Matthew 5:16, and always keep in mind "it is far better to give than it is to receive", Acts 20:35. If it is a sticker you need go buy yourself a whole sheet of them, but if you are really ready to gain some ground on intrinsic motivators, then you should be trying to figure out how what you are doing can help others without any thought of what you will get back in return. Remember it's not about getting, it's all about how much you have given to others and how much you still have to give! Have an awesome week and go make a difference in your world!

"Why Not Me"

     So many times in life when we are faced with trials or tribulations the first thing that crosses our mind is "Why me?" Sickness, illnesses, hard times, injuries, financial woes, marital issues, and even during the loss of a loved one it is so easy to think in our minds "Why me?" Today's thought asks a much tougher question, "Why not me?" Now this one isn't going to be easy and if you are not grounded in faith it will be even more difficult for you to grasp this concept, but I encourage you to read today's message, get in a quiet spot, and spend some time breaking this apart.
     In life hard times are going to hit that is pretty much a given that we all accept, yet when they do hit us personally at just the precise moment when we are most vulnerable it is the normal human instinct to ask the question "Why me?" Well each of us has been equipped with special talents, skills, and other attributes that make you the exact person to deal with the situation at hand. Problem is many of us do not utilize those talents or attributes enough and the skill isn't honed or nurtured enough so that we are ready to put it to use during the avalanche that is happening in your life at that percise moment. The challenge is to dig deep into what is happening and force yourself to understand that what is happening may not be for your benefit and it is definitely not a punishment on your life.
     What you are going through at what ever level it is, let's say anything from a literal flat tire on the roadside all the way up to the recent news of a loved one that has just been diagnosed with a terminal illness, is going to impact your life. It is also going to impact the other people in your life by the way you react and respond to the situation at hand. You will teach perseverance or you will demonstrate frustration and defeat. In illness there is faith and trust, or there is anger and fear. You have to stop and realize that how you handle the situation is going to show your circle of influence how to handle similar situations in their lives. It is imperative that we learn and realize that the events we endure and persist through in life are not meant for us necessarily, but instead for our posterity.
     As a parent, coach, and also as an educator this responsibility is monumental. In your world whatever you do for a living you are going to influence others. I always tell my students and my athletes that as leaders you are going to either pull others up the mountain or you are going to push them down the mountain, then I pose the question, "which way are you going to lead?" As parents we teach lessons to our children daily on how to handle life's crises, they will see you melt or hopefully they will see you rise to the occasion and overcome the adversity that lies in front of you. You are a leader for someone in every circumstance in life you encounter. Even a complete stranger is learning a lesson from you as they observe your response to someone cutting in front of you as you drive down the freeway. How will you respond, how will you react?
     It's normal to ask "Why me?" What is not the norm is when you can grow to the place of saying "Why not me?" In the Bible the apostle Paul had some type of pain in his side to the degree that he labelled it a thorn. In his prayers Paul asked the Lord to remove it three different times, basically saying "Why me?" The pain persisted, yet through his affliction Paul finally realized that when he was weak and willing then the Lord could provide him with the strength to endure and persist. The Lord spoke to Paul and helped him understand that His power is made perfect in our weakness. Once Paul got to this place in his faith then he actually said he "delighted" in  hardships, persecutions, and difficulties because, " when I am weak, then I am strong" 2 Corinthians 12:10. At that point Paul was no longer asking "why me? He was now saying in response to adversity "why not me?"
     Another example of this service to others before self is found as Jesus faced his inevitable death on the cross. Jesus cried as he prayed to His father and basically said "why me?", yet in that same breath he also proclaimed "yet not my will but Thy will be done" Matthew 26:39. He knew that He had been chosen for "such a time as this"Esther 4:14.
     When we step up to the plate and face the challenge that we are facing with boldness and faith that we are exactly where we are because this is exactly where we are supposed to be at this given moment in life, regardless of the level of adversity or the magnitude of the circumstances we will approach the situation with a different mentality. Instead of asking "why me?" we will stand tall and accept the challenge with a "why not me?" approach that will allow us to overcome and endure. In turn our example will have an impact on all that are in our circle of influence.
     I challenge you this week to change your mindset when the next flat tire comes your way (not being pessimistic at all but it will come). Stop before you think "why me" and pose yourself these questions instead. What skills do I possess that make me the perfect person to face this situation? What lesson am I to learn and what takeaways should I get from this experience? Who is watching me to see how I will react? And, What do I want those around me to see and learn from how I handle this situation? If you ask yourself these and other similar questions before you start asking "why me?" you may actually realize that you are exactly the person for this moment in time,
"for such a time as this".
     Have a fantastic day and week! Meditate, reflect, and then share! Make your world better because you are in it!
Coach'em Up Carter 

Picking Blackberries

     When I think back to my childhood growing up on and around our Whetsel family farm one of my fondest memories is picking blackberries and then eating the blackberry cobbler my grandmother would make afterwards. During some of the hottest weeks of the summer, blackberries would come into season and Mamaw Whetsel would send me to hunt out and pick blackberries. She armed me with an old tin pot that thumped when the berries first hit the pot until I had gathered enough berries to insulate and pad the bottom of the pan for the onslaught of berries I would gather. If you haven't ever had the pleasure of picking wild blackberries it is an adventure that is filled with great rewards, blackberry cobbler a' la mode, blackberry jam or jelly, and just plain old sitting around popping them in your mouth pleasure. Yet, as with most rewards in life blackberry picking is accompanied by some pricks and snags along the way.
     You see blackberries are grown on vines and those vines have prickly thorns that will bring blood with the slightest of snags. On the outer branches of the vine there are several smaller berries that catch the full force of the sun and heat on a daily basis. This tends to dry out the berries and the berries found on the outer branches are just not as juicy and are no where near as sweet as berries found inside the heart of the vine. I guess that's why God placed the best berries inside the protection of the prickly vines and protective leaves. If I had settled for the berries on the fringe of the vine my reward would never have been quite as tasty or sweet.
     An intricate maze of vines, leaves, and thorns make finding the best berries an adventure. Weaving, crouching, hunting, and searching for the hidden berries turned blackberry picking into a hunt for hidden treasure on an outing such as this. I remember peering into the web of vines and spotting a cluster of plump berries with pods that looked like they would burst when you touched them. To reach those berries that had been protected from the sun and it's glaring heat I would have to weave my arm thru the thrones while finding a way to manipulate other branches and leaves with my free hand. Upon reaching the prize the thief had to be careful not to grasp the berries to firmly to avoid bursting the juicy pods. Along the way I was sure to snag my shirt, shorts, arm, ear, or other appendages of the body, releasing a trickle of blood mixed with humid sweat that would leave a stinging sensation at the source of the stream.
    Nature provided other dangers looming around each of the berry vines as I journeyed the farm popping berries in my mouth and filling the tin pan with my treasure along the way. A wide assortment of bees were always attracted to the sweet juicy treat of the blackberry vines and if you weren't careful you might reach out to grab a berry, and instead find that you had picked a berry with a temporary resident in place. Somewhat more dangerous than the bees was the thought of running up on a slithering snake in the bushy vines. That would cause an immediate jump out of me and almost certainly a host of thorns sticking out of my arms and legs as I would lose all semblance of focus on the task at hand.      
     Although the dangers were plentiful the rewards outweighed the risks every time. A fresh, hot right out of the oven cobbler with it's buttery, golden brown crust and the bubbly, oozing blackberry juice spilling over the sides made the hunt out on the farm with every thorn, pestering insect, or sneaky snake worth every bite. Adding a fresh scoop of vanilla ice cream only made the delectable treat even more rewarding. As my mind drifted back I couldn't help but think about how in many ways reaching our dreams, goals, and ambitions in life mirrors those blackberry hunts of yesterday.
     In life we all set plans for what we want to during our journey. Some lofty and some that may seem out of reach. Nobody ever said it would be easy to reach our goals and many times when the going gets tough, instead of "get going" we give up. We settle for the dried up, sun baked, tart berries in life. It's easy to reach that set of goals and the effort doesn't include very much risk along the way. You can see where you're going and the obstacles, risks, and energy required to reach this type of goal is minimal. Life is so much more than that my friend!
     To reach the juiciest goals and dreams in your hearts and mind, you have to be willing to accept a little risk and expect a snag, poke, and even a setback along the way. You may even experience what you perceive as failure, a venomous bite that you aren't sure you will ever overcome. The key is to never give up and never quit. If you want all the sweetness that life has to offer you have to be willing to accept the risk and understand that you will face obstacles, walls, and even events that make you feel like you have totally flopped, but you can't ever give up! Not as long as you have breath in your lungs, as long as you have a finger to lift, or as long as you can see that berry hiding just outside of your grasp. Carry on and move towards your destination in life. Remember it's easy to give up and quit, lots of people do it every day. Be the one that accepts the thorns of life as just another step towards the sweetness of your ultimate destination!
       Get up, get moving, and go pick some blackberries!! Whew, I'm ready to go, can't wait for berry season next year! Have a fantastic week. I know you know two or three people out there that could benefit from some positive encouragement. Stop, think, and then click and share. Easy peasie, lemon squeezie. AH! I've been in an elementary school way too long! LOL- love my profession, it is a passion not a job!
2 Thessalonians 3:13 And as for you, brothers and sisters, never tire of doing what is good.
"Endeavor to Persevere" Native American Chief Lone Watie from the movie "The Outlaw Josey Wales"

Be a Secret Agent (of Change)

     Agent Garbo was a double agent spy during World War II, posing as an agent for the German forces while in fact working secretly for the British and Allied forces. His story is amazing foremost because he had no training in the field of espionage, but was still utilized as a top secret agent that would have a direct impact on the outcome of the day known best as D-Day. Agent Garbo created a network of fictional characters and events that he channeled back to German officials culminating in a completely fabricated alternate attack point for the Allied forces in the effort to free France and save England. The redirection of attention included artificial blow up tanks, fake armored vehicles, and a countless number of tents which were housed by no soldiers. From an aerial view it appeared that the Allies were placing their focus on an alternate attack area. The attention to a completely false front provided time and decreased Axis forces enough for the joint Allied forces to successfully carry out the attack at Normandy. Agent Garbo gets very little recognition for his role in the victory at D-Day, yet countless numbers of lives were spared because this one man changed the focus of attention away from the actual target of attack which divided the German ranks and allowed the Allied powers to succeed in France. This was a turning point in the war from which the Germans and Hitler would never recover momentum. Agent Garbo, spy, husband, father, but not a soldier changed the course of the entire war, turning him into a hero that could not be recognized due to his top secret identity and for the safety of his friends and family.
     In reality we are all top secret agents, so secret that we ourselves do not even grasp the level of change we create each day. Our words, our actions, our reactions, our decisions, and our choices all impact countless numbers of people each day and in most cases we do not even realize it is happening. The power to change lives happens with a smile or a frown, a positive word or a negative comment, a look of belief or a look of discontent, or with the simple gesture to help someone else less fortunate than we are ourselves. Mahatma Gandhi is quoted as having said "Be the change you want to see in the world", but in reality his quote sounded more like this, "We but mirror the world. All the tendencies present in the outer world are to be found in the world of our body. If we could change ourselves, the tendencies in the world would also change."
     What an amazing mindset, if we change ourselves our world will also change. I guess it all starts at home huh? Earlier I stated that we are all agents of change in the world we live. Every day we can make a difference in the lives of others that we come in contact with. How you ask?? Well we'll start real easy, change the look on your face. It takes 43 facial muscles to frown and only 17 of those same facial muscles to smile. Don't work so hard, put a smile on your face and make a difference in somebody's day! Just a simple smile can be encouragement to a child, friend, coworker, or even a stranger you pass on your way down the street. Add a positive comment or compliment and all of a sudden you have brightened a room, uplifted someone's spirit, or turned a bad morning into one that has potential for someone else. It is a real bummer to welcome someone to the room with a "Good Morning!" and the first words from their mouth are "What's so good about it?" Change our outlook on life, instead of complaining about what you don't have start being grateful for what you do have. Over 100 million people around the world are literally homeless. No roof over their head homeless. Change your perspective on life, put the focus on others and not on yourself. You may have it bad, you may not feel good, you may even have serious health issues that could even be chronic, but I bet you can look within five miles of where you live and find someone that has it worse than you. Look around it isn't about you! It's all about what you can do to change the life of someone else.
     Once we take the focus off of ourselves and we begin to look for ways to change the world for the benefit of others is when we will begin to see what our top secret mission in life is. The apostle Paul challenged us to look beyond what we do that impacts our life by focusing on doing all we do with a higher focus in mind. Colossians 3:23 says, "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as if you are doing it for God and not for man".
The next time you get the chance to change a life don't keep it a secret, smile and make the world a better place!