Cross Examined

 "The first one to plead his case seems right, until another comes and cross-examines him." Proverbs 18:17

Over the years I can't even guess how many times I've made the statement, "Well, there's two sides to every story" while working in the world of education. Students arguing with each other, parents relaying their child's rendition of an event at school the prior day, and myriad other instances of "he said", "she said" encounters. I guess this type of behavior is to be expected with our school aged children, yet the real problem is that this isn't a phenomenon relegated only to playground scuffles and cafeteria messes. We have become a society of hear it and believe it rather than a world where a story has to be confirmed first before we account it as true. How would that work in a court of law, if the prosecutor only had to stand up and proclaim that the defendant is guilty? I don't know about you, but I'm pretty thankful for the process of cross-examination. I contend that if we did a little more listening and a little less time condemning, the world might be a little less conflicted. 

I don't have a statistic, not sure how I would validate one, but my estimation is that as a world we are a little too quick to pass judgement before the full story has been presented. As a society we hear something and we accept it as the "whole truth and nothing but the truth", although we may have just heard one side of the story. In the world we live today with instant communication channels through the internet and social media, it is easy to mistake an opinion with a fact. Many of our "news" sources today are nothing more than one end of the geo-political views spectrum or the other. Jumping to conclusions before we have all the factual information to make an informed decision is something that would not fare well in a court of law nor does it produce positive outcomes in our relationships on a day to day basis. In a world where information is accessible in an instant, we are better served to slow down and listen to the whole story before we draw our conclusions and invoke our verdict of innocence or guilt. 

I believe we would all be better served if we followed the advice found in the Book of James "My dear brothers and sisters, always be more willing to listen than to speak. Keep control of your anger." James 1:19 ERV. Listen more than we speak? Wouldn't that be a novel approach to sifting through the facts being presented in our one sided transcript of the story. Let's weave the two scriptures we have referenced today together. Here's what I came up with: After the first person presents their side of the story, slow down and listen to the other side of the story before you ever start to draw your conclusions on what actually happened. Giving the other side of the story an opportunity to be expressed does require us to be active listeners. We can't just hear the side we want to hear and then draw our conclusions even while we are supposed to be listening to the other side of the story. Active listening means we won't quickly settle on our decision until both sides have fully shared the facts. Being slow to speak and quick to listen keeps us from getting angry over what we perceive to be the truth. Recently, I have found myself relinquishing the truth that perception has became reality, and that perception is founded in quick one-sided presentations of the truth in many instances. We as a society have stopped proving things to be true and have adopted a mentality that if I heard it, it must be true. Media today quickly proves that to be an incorrect statement and a dangerous slippery slope to travel. 

The good news here is we don't have to make rash decisions. We have been given two ears to listen with and one mouth to speak with. Just as the words of James 1:19 challenge us to listen twice as much as we talk, if we are going to be listening more then we are drawing our conclusions then hopefully we will be quick to hear both sides of the story before we pass our own verdict. Always, always keep in mind there are two sides to every story so it is our duty to examine and then cross examine! 

Coach Carter