Better Than I Had It

Joe E. Carter was a hard worker. Simply put, I do not believe anyone that knew my dad would say anything to the contrary. As a young man he farmed, he worked in furniture factories, he tarred roofs, and supported his four brothers, sister, and mother in lieu of the fact that their father left them when dad was in seventh grade. That being the case, he quit school and instead learned the skills he would later use to run his own construction company through the work listed above. I guess you could say Joe E. Carter didn't really quit school, he just enrolled in a much different form of education entitled the school of hard knocks. During his "education" he sustained a life threatening internal injury while working at Morristown Chest, lost a digit off his right hand, survived a recession, and along the way created a construction company that built hundreds of homes in and around Morristown, transitioned to a commercial builder and oversaw the construction of numerous Western Sizzling Steakhouses in Tennessee and other states, built or partnered in a number of business ventures, and throughout his working career Joe E. Carter farmed the land that he loved so much raising livestock, crops, and lush pastureland. During his contractor tenure our dad was named "Builder of the Year" more than once, elected president by the Morristown Home Builders Association, and contributed to or helped start so many of the subdivisions established in the 1970's and 80's in Morristown such as Brockland Acres, Brentwood, Lyn Mar Hills, Hickory Shadows, and Quail Hollow, just to name a few. I believe in most definitions of the word successful Joe E. Carter would fit the bill. 

I say all of that to brag on my dad. I have always been proud of him and admired his work ethic from a distance all my life. Our father did obtain a GED diploma and he proudly wore a high school class ring throughout his life. He was prouder of that accomplishment than all of his business accolades. I mentioned the school of hard knocks in the opening of today's FTM, that is where our dad obtained his advanced degrees. His "formal" education came through undesirable life situations, myriad setbacks, stumbles, and what many people would have labelled as failures, but Joe Carter used those experiences as the fodder for success in life. 

For several generations, mine included, we have stolen the opportunity to grow through adversity from our children. Joe E. Carter wanted his children to have life better than his was, so he gave us more than we needed, and he didn't ask for much in return. My generation in turn, wanted our kids to know life  better than what we had, so we gave our children an overabundance of "things", and began removing any struggles out of the equation. That recurring theme has continued to morph over the last two or three generations until now it is pretty much a sense of entitlement by not only our children, but throughout our systems of government, education, and in everyday life. All with the thought that we want our kids "to have it better than we had it". Good intentions, terrible outcomes.

If we could just stop and look at the lives of those that we consider outstanding leaders throughout history we would find that the struggle is what made them capable of leading the way they led. I have extensively studied the adverse settings surrounding the lives of Abraham Lincoln and Winston Churchill two admirable leaders in their own era of history. In both men's lives the setbacks they endured and the "failures" they persevered made them stronger not weaker and that strength is what they each used to lead when it was time to step up to the plate and lead. I can't calculate the benefit of working through and overcoming adverse situations, but I can tell you that the struggle is definitely what made them stronger and more capable of leading their respective countries through a time of despair that saw both nations crumbling and ready to collapse. No doubt they called on their will to succeed which was bedded in resiliency and a gritty mindset, gained through adversity not entitlement. 

All is not lost, but it is time to retrieve that what has been lost. Let us fail, let us make sacrifices, and let us have to try to figure out how to make things work even when they don't end up working. Allow us to come up short and then teach us to be humble and content in whatever state we are currently in at that particular moment. "I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.  I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want." Philippians 4:11-12. Let us fight the good fight, stand up, get knocked down and then get back up! Make us to be a nation that relies on God not on man making everything appear to be okay. 

God prepares us through our adversity and even in our grief. What appears to be failure is only a lesson in our school of hard knocks education. I dare guess where I would be today if not for the example that Joe E. Carter provided, and I most certainly know where I would be if not for the mercy and grace that Our Savior has shown me through the trials and tribulations of this life. “Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest.” Joshua 1:9

Coach Carter

 

Choosing Right Over Wrong

 

The classic Abbott and Costello comedy routine of “Who’s on First” comes to mind when I read through Romans 7:15-20 “I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who does it, but it is sin living in me. For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.” Or, if that one is a little too tricky we can sum it up with one verse from the New Living Translation of that same scripture. “I want to do what is good, but I don’t. I don’t want to do what is wrong, but I do it anyway.”

There is small consolation in the fact that the Apostle Paul, probably one of the most devote early Christians was the author of this plead for mercy and grace. Yet the fact that Paul, a man after God’s own heart faced the same dilemmas that we face some two thousand years later let’s us know that this isn’t something novel to our day and time, it is actually timeless. Adam and Eve, Joseph and his brothers, Samson and Delilah, Judas and Jesus, the list goes on and on and is definitely not limited to folks in the Bible. I guess the real question is what do you and I do about this situation in our own walk with our Heavenly Father?

The choices Paul describes are real today, just as real, if not more so as they were when Paul wrote this terse admission of guilt during his time in Rome. The question is, why is this such a problem and how do we overcome the temptations to bring our hearts, minds, and choices under submission.  

I liken this dilemma to something I have always taught the athletes I’ve coached. In any sporting endeavor, or really in any competitive situation, there will be struggles. Learning a new move, working on a certain aspect of the game you love, or facing that one opponent that seems to just have your number conflict and challenge will be present. The easy thing to do is to give up or give in, but that is monumentally the wrong thing to do. The hard thing to do is to keep fighting the urge to give in or give up. That takes will power, trust, and faith that the short-term gratification will never be able to compare with the long-range outcome if we stay the course and don’t give in. I tell my athletes, “don’t let your body tell you what to do, you be mentally stronger than your physical self and then you are the one that tells your body what to do.

Somebody out there is saying “talk to your body and tell it what to do, is this guy crazy or what?” The truth of the matter is that we are in a battle between good and evil in our minds and our mind will tell us to go or stay, to pick up and leave, or to stick it out and stay. I know what is the right thing to do, but it seems like I always end up choosing the thing I know is the wrong thing to do. Sound familiar? Sound a little like Paul?

You have to be stronger than your body and, in most cases, you have to be stronger than your intellectual mind. The strength I speak about is one that is wrought through hard, disciplined work and in most cases the fortitude of the will is a result of learning through mistakes of the past and pursuing a relationship with the One person that can give you the strength and tools you will need to overcome evil in your life.

In the Abbott and Costello skit I’m pretty sure they never really figured out who was actually on first base, but I am certain that if we attempt to make the right choices on our own the outcome will more than likely end up causing us heartaches and hardships. But, if we develop our relationship with God, nurturing it with trust, time, and faith, then we can expect our decisions to be tremendously easier to make, and the hard times a little easier to endure. “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct thy paths” Proverbs 3:5-6.

Coach Carter

 

Who Do You Love?

"Who do you love??" Back in 1975 George Thorogood released his rendition of the classic Bo Diddley hit, and boy did he put his Detroit Blues mark on that song! If you haven't listened to old George belt out the lyrics in a while or if you aren't familiar with George Thorogood and the Destroyers, I recommend you check it out, it is well worth the dime! Throughout Thorogood's version of this bluesy tune he continually asks the question "Who do you love?". With Valentine’s Day right around the corner and hearts pasted up everywhere you look, the question begs to be asked today, "Who, do you love?"

 

I Corinthians 13 is frequently called the love chapter of the Bible, as it most certainly does spell out what true love looks like and how we should show our love to others, but today I want to look at another love chapter in the Bible, I John 4. One of my favorite verses in the Bible is found in this chapter, verse 4 proclaims "greater is He who is in me, then he who is in the world", which lays the foundation for our discussion about love. On our own we are incapable of the type of love that God has shown us, "greater is He who is in me, basically spells it out that when we abide in God our limits are erased and we are now capable of doing things that appear to be humanly impossible.

 

Verses 7-9 gives us this explanation, God is love. Can we really say we love someone if we don't love the very One that set the stage for what love in its most basic form looks like? God gave his Son to be a sacrifice for our sins, all of our sins, so that we might live through His death. He gave the world Jesus, when the world turned its back on Him. So true love is loving someone regardless of whether they love you or not. That's a tough one for us. We have a hard-enough time loving those that tell us that they love us, let alone all the ones that hurt us, upset us, think differently than us, or even those that may look or sound a little different than us. I don't think the Bible says, love those that look like you, and those that have the same cultural background as you. I read through I John 4 in its entirety just to make sure. Nope not there. What it does say is this, "We love him, because he first loved us. If a man says, I love God, and hateth his brother, he is a liar: for he that loveth not his brother whom he hath seen, how can he love God whom he hath not seen?" I John 4:19-20. We are called to love our fellow man, because God first loved us and gave us His example of what love really looks like.

 

As we stock up on chocolates and roses this Valentine’s Day, how about we also take an inventory of our love quotient and who we are actually giving our "love" to. "How can we say we love God whom we have not seen, if we do not love our fellow man that we do see each and every day?" (vs. 20). That is a really good question. When Jesus was asked what was the greatest commandment he declared "thou shall love the Lord thy God will all thy heart and soul" Matthew 22:37, and then He coupled that with a second command of loving thy neighbor as thyself. If we want to truly know what God expects of us in the love category, that sums it up nicely. To love you must love others or how can you say you love God. He loved us enough to allow His son to die for our sins, how far are we willing to go to share that same type of love inside and outside of our immediate circle in life?

 

Can you do it on your own? Of course not, loving your so-called enemies is not something we do based on our own instincts and backgrounds. Yet if we want to declare we live for and serve the God of love, then we must strive each day to be more like Him. The good news is He is with us each step along the way. Greater is He who is IN me! You can't do this alone, but you are not alone, the same God who rose Jesus from His tomb is the same God that is with you each and every step along the way. Oh, to be more like God and share our love with not only those we are deeply connected to, but also to our fellow man.

 

Happy Valentine's Day!

Coach Carter

Something to Consider

 

Let's start out today's Flat Tire with a task for everyone to complete. Grab a pencil and paper and get ready to write. Okay, now here's the prompt and then I'd like you to take a few minutes to write down your answers before you move forward with reading the rest of today's message. 

You've gone to the doctor's office today because of some out of the ordinary symptoms you've been experiencing lately. After all the tests have been ran and all the blood work has been analyzed the doctor walks into your room and to give you her conclusions. What happens next is probably something none of us would be even remotely prepared for, the doctor informs you that you have an incurable disease and you only have weeks to get everything in order. After the numbness wanes, you realize that you have got to get busy taking care of business. Besides financial matters, business dealings, and overall life matters, you need to get your relationships in order before you pass. Think of the top ten people you would want to say something to given the fast approaching demise you are facing. What would you want to say to them? What would you want them to really know? Is there one of those top ten that you would want to mend a broken relationship with? How about worry or concern for a friend or loved one’s health or safety, is there something you haven't said to them that you would want to share? Stop reading here, and jot down the ten things you would say to the top ten people on that list. Just ten, not eleven, not twenty, just ten. When you are finished then proceed with the rest of today's FTM. 

Was that hard? It was for me. Ten just wasn't enough and saying only one thing to each person on my list was way too hard to narrow down. What action words topped your list? Mine included love, sorry, forgive, and choices, honestly writing the messages down brought me to tears. I suppose I began thinking about how important my words to those I love really are. I didn't once say be sure to pay the electric bill this month. I wasn't complaining about how messy a child's room was, and I don't think the topic of money came up once, matter of fact, it didn't even cross my mind. The thoughts I wrote down were life and legacy thoughts. Real, critically important thoughts that I would not want those I love to not hear or know. Question to self, "If the thoughts I wrote down are so important for those I love to hear, how often am I saying those very thoughts to those that are so dear to my heart?" 

What am I waiting on? Is the thought process that I'll do it tomorrow? Or maybe I'm waiting on the right time, and the right place and then I'll say what is on my heart and mind to that person I love so much. Whatever it is I'll ask the question again, "What am I waiting for?" What are you waiting for? If it is that you are waiting on tomorrow or that perfect opportunity keep in mind that we truly do not have a promise of tomorrow. Luke 12:39 warns us, "But know this, that if the master of the house had known at what hour the thief was coming, he would not have left his house to be broken into". We do not know when our time on this earth will come to a halt. Nobody does, so what is the thought process around I'll tell that person the one thing that I would want to tell them tomorrow? What if tomorrow never comes. I'm pretty sure none of us has a get out of jail free card we can pull out if the grim reaper knocked on our door today. If it was important enough for you to list it as something you would want to share if the above scenario was enacted, then I'm pretty sure it is something that needs to be shared today, definitely not tomorrow.

Whatever the reason you haven't said what needs to be said, I believe today is a challenge type day. Maybe you are one side of a fractured family relationship. I know fathers and sons who haven't spoken in years, somebody needs to be the first one to apologize and rekindle that relationship. I know people who are too busy to sit down and have a talk with their husband or wife. It's time to slow it down and make the time to talk. Guidance doesn't need to be given later, it very well could be a difference maker in a relationship now! It is a given that the right time to share your thoughts with those you love is right now, but we believe we have myriad tomorrows to wait to pull the trigger. Maybe you do and maybe you don't. I do not want to play that game of Russian Roulette! I choose to step up and say what needs to be said today! Whatever might be keeping you from saying what needs to be said can't control what you do, fear, embarrassment, rejection, pride, have no hold on your life, God is in control and will be right there with you each step and every word along the way. "So, do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10. Today is the opportunity.

Coach Carter