"Woulda, Shoulda, Coulda"

 

Contemporary Christian singer songwriter Matthew West has a relatively new song out titled “What If?” which challenges us to not be someone who looks back and is forced to ask themselves the question, “What if?” Two little words, but man do they pack a powerful punch. Place a fill in the blank spot at the end of the sentence, “What if ______________ ?” and if you are like me, you could come up with a laundry list of regrets and wishes. With one more month left in 2021 we do not have to wait to make that “New Year’s Resolution” for some change to take place in our lives. We have the ability today to turn our “what if’s” into “I did’s”.

Probably one of the most haunting verses in West’s song shares a fear that many of us can relate to, and some of us still need to wake up to.

“My biggest fear is waking up to find what matters
Is miles away from what I spent my life chasing after
Is my story gonna have the same two words in every chapter?
What if, what if”

It is never a bad time to stop and do a little self-reflection, call it a check up on where you are and what you are chasing. We get so darned busy being busy that we can easily lose sight of what our goal was in the first place.

 

Parents pack their schedule with do this, go there, be here, be there, run, run, run all for the sake of giving the best to their children. Is that the best thing to do with our time “together”? I don’t have that answer, that one is yours to navigate. Mothers and fathers spend 60+ hours working a 40-hour work week to provide everything, anything that their children ask and many times don’t even ask for. We just think they would love it and we want them to be happy. What if? What if what they really want is to just spend some time with their mom or dad doing something that costs nothing more than a little time. Speaking of work, for those of us that believe the world will stop spinning if we aren’t there in the middle of the workplace making it all spin, it may be time to stop and internalize what we are doing and how we are spending our time. (That one hits home, I’m just saying)

 

As I said early on, you can fill in the blank after the phrase “What if________?” with just about anything you can imagine. “What if I had exercised a little more? Would I be experiencing the health issues I am right now?” Or “What if I had gone back to school and obtained that technical skill I wish I had pursued when I was younger?” We can spend all of our time boasting about what we “woulda, shoulda, coulda” done, but unfortunately once that ship has sailed there isn’t always a chance to go back. One of the charges I have always told the student athletes I coach is to not be someone who looks back and tells others that you could have done this or that if you would have worked a little harder you would have been all state. It is easy to tell people that you should have gotten that scholarship, and that you would have gotten it but… It is too easy to look back and play the blame game, when in reality, the blame has to sit right there in your lap.

 

Flat Tire Ministries was created to build hope, and there is hope for those of us that have fell victim to the regrets of misappropriated time in life. Matthew West’s song offers this note of inspriation, “But last I checked this heart inside my chest is still beating well, I guess it's not too late”. That’s just it, as long as you have breath in your lungs and your heart is still beating you can change the direction of where you are headed. Some things may be gone, you can’t go back and rededicate yourself to practice more for your high school wrestling team when you are almost 60, but you can spend more time with your grandchild making sure they get the most out of their ability and focus. Other things in life you can still change your focus and amount of focus that you invest. Relationships, time management with family and friends, career focus, hobbies, pass times, TV time, social media time, or whatever you put in the center of your life time. Those are all things that could wind up being a “woulda, shoulda, coulda” what if statement/question, but you have the ability to shape the outcomes and not be a victim of your own procrastination.

 

What if I would have given more time to developing my relationship with my Creator? What could I have accomplished if I would have sought His will more for the life that He gave me to live? I tried to give my family all that they wanted, but should I have given them more of the one thing that could impact our grandchildren and their children’s children as my legacy to them? Well the last time I checked I’ve still got a heart that’s beating inside my chest, I guess it’s still not too late!

 “Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. Let those of us who are mature think this way, and if in anything you think otherwise, God will reveal that also to you.” Philippians 3:13-15.

 

Coach Carter

 

 

Grateful for Being Thankful

 

As we in the USA are fully aware, our annual Thanksgiving Day holiday is right around the corner. Most of our focus on this day is centered around the roasted turkey that didn't receive a pardon, yet it is not uncommon to see the retail/marketing world move from Halloween directly to Christmas mode with little thought of the day set aside to give thanks for all we have been given. If you think about it, Halloween and Christmas garner a great deal of worldly attention because the focus is set more on what you "get" as opposed to what you "give". Hence Thanks"giving" which is, as it should be, more about giving thanks. We have so much to be thankful for faith, family, and friends top my list with opportunities and lessons learned following close behind. But, today I want to spotlight something that I am thankful for that may sound a little redundant at first, but if you sit and ponder on it for a minute, my hope is that you can add one more thing to your list of all the things you are thankful for this Thanksgiving season. 

Way too many people live life without seeing how blessed they actually are, and that keeps them from enjoying the life they have been given to live. I'll use the term grateful here. If you aren't thankful for all you have, regardless of how little or how much you have, the art of being grateful for you may seem foreign or indescribable. What would it be like if we could get to a place where as we give thanks for all we have been given, we include a thankful thought for being able to recognize that we recognize how blessed we actually are? Like I said when we started out today's message, redundant right? Not really. 

Some of us give thanks and some of us say thanks, but how many of us realize how thankful we should really be? Let me be the first to go on record to say "Thank you" for the ability to be grateful on the Sunday before the Thursday we traditionally "give thanks" for all we have been given. The world feels broken, we work to "get" for self, we self-promote to "get" likes and views, we covet what our neighbor has and then we go out and "get" one better than theirs. What if we could stop placing the emphasis on "getting" more stuff and focus on what we have already been given and give thanks for that each and every day? 

I have room to grow in this area, I haven't mastered the art of being thankful in all situations and under all circumstances, but I am thankful that I have been given eyes to see how fortunate I am and how I enjoy saying thank you for all I do have. I am thankful that I don't take that for granted. I am grateful that I am a thankful person. May I go about each day, not just Thanksgiving Day, thanking those that have given me the opportunities I have been given and thanking my Maker for all that I have been given. And God my provider, I am grateful that I am a thankful person and not someone that is always wanting more. The Apostle Paul tells me that "You will be enriched in every way to be generous in every way, which through us will produce thanksgiving to God." I Corinthians 9:11, which speaks to my heart telling me to realize that I am thankful and thank God each day for having that peace of mind and clarity of purpose. 

As we approach Thanksgiving this Thursday, is there a chance you will stop and give thanks for all you have and all you have been given? In so doing, give a little time to thanking God for the ability to see just how much we have been given. Pray for gratefulness and how you show the world you live in that you are thankful for being thankful! 

So grateful that I am thankful!

Coach Carter

 

Traveling Along the "Trials" of Life

 

Trails and Trials, one little letter transposed and we transition from an enjoyable walk down a winding pathway, to a dreaded period in life that challenges us to dare move forward. On the first look those two words are distinctly different. I mean who doesn't enjoy a leisurely stroll down a mountain trail or even following a man-made trail to take in a series of historic landmarks such as a memorial park trail? As for trials, I don't think I recollect people lining up to take part in their next trial of life? Marital issues, financial matters, work issues, home issues, health, mental health, basically anything in your life that happens along the way that is unexpected and undesirable, those my friends we call the trials of life. Distinctly different, yet uniquely similar, both trials and trails take us on a journey, it is our choice where that journey takes us in life. 

The metaphor of our lives being a series of trails that we journey could easily have the word trials substituted and convey the same message. Actually, we may actually travel through many more trials in life then trails if we think about it. I have traversed many trials in my life and I can attest that the "journey" through each of those trials has taken me to new levels of perseverance and resiliency in my life that I most likely would not have achieved had it not been for the trials of life that I endured. 

Think about going on a hike, a leisurely hike if that promotes a better visual image in your mind. Without a trail to follow how easy it would be to get lost. Trails are marked in most cases, directing us to take a left turn here and a right turn there. Well-traveled parks have signage alerting the journeyman about upcoming features such as waterfalls, sunset views, and even steep or dangerous sections of the path ahead. The markers along a trail and the beaten down path which lays out the "way to go" are there because many have traveled that trail before you. Trails are easier to travel because of those that have been there and done that before us. Wouldn't it be nice if the trials of life were the same as a well-marked trail? 

What if those trials of life were laid out specifically for you or I? What if instead of looking at trials in life as punishment for bad choices, misfortune, or even the result of generational influences, we adopted the mindset that trials of life are set to build us up and take us to where God can actually use us for the purpose we were designed to accomplish? Psalm 37:23-24 tells us that "The Lord directs the steps of the godly, He delights in every detail of their lives ^Though they stumble, they will never fall, for the Lord holds them by the hand." Moving from being a victim of a trial, we suddenly transform ourselves into a servant of God traveling down a trail that we must journey and grow through to become that man or woman we were purposed to become. I am reminded and comforted by the words of David in Psalm 23:4 "Yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil for Thou are with me Thy rod and Thy staff they comfort me". Confidence gained, stamina packed, and doubt removed, I walk forward not knowing what tomorrow holds, but motivated and empowered by the knowledge of WHO holds tomorrow! 

If you are going through a trial currently, place your trust in the one that created you to endure and even thrive in this moment. Life isn't easy and the trails are not always flat and marked with what lies ahead, but if you can get to that place where you place your faith in the understanding that you weren't made by mistake, and what you are going through can grow you and fulfill you, then you no longer will be traveling through a trial, but instead walking hand in hand with God down the trail of life you were purposed to traverse! 

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

 

Coach Carter

Loving Conditionally

I had a hard time getting the words out of my mouth, "loving conditionally" It just doesn't flow right when you try to say it. Of course, the real phrase is to love unconditionally. The idea behind the thought is that regardless of what you do, who you are, or how bad it gets, you are still loved. Is that a hard one to swallow? In human terms it certainly is a challenging concept. How quick are we to pass judgement on others and discard them when they don't fit the mold we see as "loveable”? Unconditional love is heavenly, literally. If you want an example of unconditional love look no further than the example God provided with the sacrifice of His Son, Jesus. 

Jesus is the epitome of what unconditional love looks like. Think about it, after the Romans had beaten him, tortured him, and nailed him to the cross, this man looked down at his persecutors and then looked to his Father and asked God to forgive them. Why would Jesus ask his Father to forgive them? Why didn't He say, Hey Dad, how about you make these guys pay for what they have done to me! There can only be one reason, unconditional love. We can't move far enough away, we don't have to measure up to some kind of standard, and we don't have to look, act, or behave a certain way, God loves us unconditionally. 

God's son, Jesus, explained it like this. Love the Lord Thy God first and then love thy neighbor as thyself. (Luke 10) After sharing that guidance with a group of people that had gathered to listen to Jesus, a man asked Him "who is my neighbor?" Jesus replied by sharing the parable of the Good Samaritan and then asked the man who do you think the neighbor is in the parable? Of course, it was the man who stopped and gave a hand up to the man from Samaria who had been beaten and left for dead in the ditch. 

Interestingly, the neighbor Jesus referred to wasn't the man's next-door neighbor, it was someone, anyone, that needs a helping hand. Unconditionally displaying love which coincidentally is also known as the word "charity". Charity: voluntarily giving to someone in need. Someone in need, not someone that looks just like me, believes the same way I do, someone that I think deserves my "charity", but instead the word charity means giving to someone. Someone, anyone, I believe those two words are interchangeable and very well should be. If Jesus, beaten nearly to death and then nailed to a rugged cross can look down at the men and women who demanded He be put to death and say, "Father forgive them for they know not what they do" Luke 23:34, then who are we to be picking and choosing who we want as our neighbor. 

It is hard to say the term conditionally loved, because the two words do not go together. We are called to love unconditionally just as we are loved unconditionally by our Father in Heaven. If His love for me was conditional, I'm pretty sure I would not be loved. If love is only to be given to someone that has the same skin pigment as mine, then is that really love? Does someone with a different hue of dermis deserve less of a life than you or I? If someone speaks a different language am I allowed to not love them as my neighbor? According to the words of Jesus I don't think so. 

Today's Flat Tire Ministry may strike a chord with some, so I ask you to consider something. We are a country of immigrants, immigrants that have traveled across oceans to call this continent home. A land of immigrants so much that we have been labeled the great melting pot. Why did our forefathers come to this land? For a better way of life. Why does anyone still come to America today? For a better way of life. Fathers and mothers, brothers and sisters, and anyone else reading today's message, I want you to put yourself in a situation for just one minute. The place where you live is destitute, crime, drugs, murder, and thievery are the daily norm. If you don't like that place then how about putting yourself in a city where there are no real jobs, poverty would be considered living well, and the prospects of things improving are minimal at best. In either of those cities the likelihood that your child could be molested, stolen, or at best uneducated and destined to live the same hopeless lifestyle that you have lived is highly probable. Would you not reach out to a "Good Samaritan" for a hand up? Would you not want your "neighbor" to love you unconditionally as a human being with a family? Would you not do the same thing for your family? Would you not take a chance on picking your family up and moving them to a place where you know there are jobs, food, clean water, housing, and hope that if you worked hard and gave it all you got your family could be safe? If you can honestly sit there and say you would not move your family then I'm not sure why you are even reading this today. No, it is not my place to judge you. I will leave that to the One that will judge each of us when it is our turn to be judged. 

While I am on this earth, while I have lungs that breathe and provide me with a voice to speak, while I have the opportunity to support our students, all students, I will make every attempt to be your neighbor, a neighbor that will demonstrate loving others unconditionally. I ask you to look deep in your heart today, do a self-assessment and ask yourself, "Do I love conditionally or do I love as my Father loves me, unconditionally?" Ours is a grand venture, the tone of our country is one of division not union. As people look for ways to divide us, I challenge you to be someone that pulls us together. "Greater love has no one than this, that someone lays down his life for his friends." John 15:13.

 

Coach Carter