Two Signs One Message

     
     Over the last week or so two marquees have garnered my attention every time I drive by either one. Both signs give a very similar message of encouragement, hope, and faith. The thing is to see both of these signs you would pretty much have to drive a route much like mine each day. It isn't like it is an out of the way roadway, so it is possible that several people do take this route occasionally, and some people that happen to live in close proximity to where we live may take this same exact route every day, but the vast majority of the people who live in the same community as I do not pass this way often if ever. Coupled with that is the understanding that a large majority of our reading audience do not even live in the same town let alone state, or possibly even the same country, so the good news I received stops right there with me if I don't share it.
     It's easy to spread bad news, bad energy, or negative thoughts, I don't know why but that seems to be the case. I believe it is just as easy to spread the good, but we have to be willing to speak up, share out, and make a point to not get caught up in the bad when it rears its head. I choose the good in life, it is a choice for sure, which brings us back to the two marquees on my route.
    Now if it were one sign with an encouraging message that would still be worth sharing, but two with similar messages in a close proximity of each other, yet not on the same route, well that spoke to me and I want to share this message of faith and hope with you. The first sign was displayed by a dear friend and colleague at Fairview Marguerite Elementary School. Mrs. Suzanne Wampler, principal of Fairview, donned the message to "Grow through, what you go through" on the school's roadside billboard. Appropriate message for this particular time in history wouldn't you agree? The other is on the Buffalo Trail Baptist Church marquee and it reads "A crisis is the anvil upon which God shapes our faith." Poignantly precise during a global pandemic. Now the two signs definitely spoke to me as messages of encouragement during the COVID-19 outbreak, but aren't these messages of encouragement appropriate for every day matters that we have encountered, are in the midst of, or will inevitably face as we move forward? Of course, we need this type of encouragement not only in a pandemic, but also in our relationships, dealing with what goes on at school, at work, and as we are driving down the road.
     "Grow through what you go through", in other words, take your crisis and beat it out with an anvil until it is shaped into something that you can use for the betterment of others not just yourself. If we take a piece of metal and use the anvil properly, that lump of iron becomes a tool for gardening, which in turn nurtures the plants, which at the right time produces the harvest we need to survive and thrive. Yet it all starts with an attitude of growing and not focusing on the pain that is associated with the growth. You know, "growing pains", as we grow it hurts because we are stretching our boundaries, we are extending ourselves past what feels comfortable.
      If we keep an attitude of growth as our forefront mentality then we can learn to appreciate the things we get pounded on by the anvil, because we know that the faith we have tells us that we will grow and benefit from that growth if only we will persevere, be resilient, and hold tightly to our faith. Whatever you are going through today whether it is the uncertainty of the Coronavirus or if it is a relationship matter that seems to be going nowhere but south, you can grow through it, but it takes faith. A faith that you can rely on, a faith that you can trust when it doesn't feel like trusting is worth the effort. That is what faith is, trusting that what feels bad, is actually present for a purpose, maybe not for your purpose, but most assuredly for the benefit of someone you will encounter. "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11. I encourage you today to grow through IT, embrace IT, trust that God is going to use IT whatever that IT is in your life today. He is faithful and He is with you each step along the way. Get ready to grow!
Coach Carter

"You Get What You Get and You Don't Pitch a Fit"

     We are always excited when our granddaughter Ivy gets to come down from Virginia to visit. Never often enough, and always too soon when she has to go back home. One of the great things about little Miss Ivy's stays is she always leaves us with a sweet little chuckle as we reminisce over the things she says or the way she conducts herself in such a matter of fact way. Always quick to share her takeaways or little euphemisms, Ivy never fails to leave me with something to reflect on and in this case share with you today.
    Ivy has two brothers and a sister back up in Amelia, Virginia and I'm sure with four kids their mom doesn't have a great deal of room for the kids to be finicky when it comes to dinner. Well that point was highlighted one evening as we sat down for dinner and someone sitting around the table commented that they weren't particularly fond of the meal we were having that night. Without even giving it a thought Ivy popped out with "You get what you get, and you don't pitch a fit!" resulting in everyone around the table bursting out in laughter. That memory always brings a smile to my face, and resonates well with our thought for today's FTM.
      No, we aren't going to be talking about eating whatever it is that is placed in front of you for dinner tonight without complaining, although that is probably something we should practice. Instead, our time today is more about accepting the plate that we have been handed in life and thriving through our circumstances not wallowing in them and never moving forward; enter one Dr. Morgan Stansberry.
      Morgan was a student of mine when I was an English teacher at East Ridge Middle School a number of years ago. I can attest to it being a number of years ago, because Dr. Stansberry has just completed the doctorate program in audiology at LSU recently and will be working in conjunction with the university's program as she moves forward. Time doesn’t sit still. In middle school, it was obvious that Morgan was a driven student, honor roll, cheerleader, and all around leader among her peers. From my recollections, Morgan had set her goals early in life and a career in the field of audiology was her chosen path. Some in our reading audience may know Morgan from their own years of teaching, but I am going to guess that the majority of our reading audience may not have had the pleasure of meeting Dr. Stansberry, so it is appropriate that I share one small detail about Morgan that raises the bar on her outstanding accomplishment of completing a doctoral program in audiology.
      When I first met Morgan, it was in a meeting with our school system's audiologist and a team of her teachers, parents, and other related staff members. We were being informed and educated on how to utilize a speaker/amplifier system in our classrooms that would connect to a device that Morgan would be wearing in her ear. We were told that Morgan had a cochlear disorder that impacted her hearing and the amplification system was necessary for her to hear the classroom lecture and directions for any assignments being made. Morgan quickly "trained" me on how to utilize this tool and was always quick to remind me that the speaker was on when I might be engaged in a conversation with another teacher that she might not need to be privy to the details.
    Oh yeah, remember Morgan's latest accomplishment? Dr. Morgan Stansberry. That's right Morgan is the prime example of what little Ivy was professing at the dinner table, and it is a truly fitting tag line for Morgan's situation in life and most certainly is applicable in each of our own lives each and every day. "You get what you get and you don't pitch a fit." We are not guaranteed that life is going to be completely laid out for us the way we might envision life as we suppose it will be. Morgan's situation was an early diagnosis of a progressive hearing loss, she took that diagnosis and set a goal in life to help others with hearing loss diseases. One word sums that decision up, AMAZING! Words cannot describe the joy I felt when her father recently informed me of this milestone accomplishment his daughter had achieved. To take on what she had been handed as a young child was asking a great deal, but for Morgan to take what many might label a disability and turn it into a lifelong passion in helping others takes an extra special degree of taking what you get and not pitching a fit! Proud of Morgan and her accomplishments to date, can't wait to see where she goes next!
     You have been handed potential setbacks in life. You may very well be facing a challenge in life right now that you just want to scream out "this isn't fair." To which I would humbly agree it most certainly isn't "fair". But, we weren't promised fair, we weren't promised a clear path with no obstacles along the way. Maybe your challenge isn't health related, it could be relational, financial, or maybe it isn't even you but instead a family member that is in the midst of a situation that is testing your resilience and perseverance. I would say to you something that may sound harsh to some, but here it goes, "You get what you get and you don't pitch a fit!"
     God made you just the way He wanted you to be made. He doesn't make mistakes. You received the situation or the circumstance you have, because God has a purpose for your life and it isn't necessarily all about you. Your purpose is about how you can impact the lives of others through the life you have been given to live. In Ecclesiastes 3:12-13 Solomon shares this insight, "I know that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live. That each of them may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all their toil—this is the gift of God." To be happy, content, in your toil and find satisfaction with your life's particular set of circumstances, is a gift from God. A gift you can have today. The apostle Paul said that he had learned to be content in whatever circumstance he happened to find himself at the time. "I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want." Philippians 4:12. To accomplish this and to do it well just like Morgan has, you can't do it alone. Having a faith in something bigger than yourself is critical. If you are facing a situation in your life and you want to embrace the "you don't pitch a fit" mentality, you will need someone to call on when the going gets tough. We don't have to face life's challenges by ourselves. A true companion is readily available to walk each step of the way with you. My prayer is that you won't try to go it alone in your own struggles and that even when it looks like life has given you a bag full of lemons you will fully be prepared to make an overflowing gallon of sweet lemonade! Take what you get and don't pitch a fit. You'll be surprised where God will take you with a willing attitude and a never say quit attitude!
Coach Carter

Right Relationships

    
     I suppose most of us would probably agree that we wish to have healthy relationships in all areas of our lives. Safe assumption? I mean I don't imagine we purposefully wake up each morning thinking who can I get into a heated argument with today?? Yet inevitably many times that is exactly what ends up happening, disagreement over who is supposed to take the kids to practice after school, someone slips in front of you at the drive-thru for your coffee, or the submission you made for a project at work got thrown through the shredder by your supervisor basically signaling that you need to start all over again. In the instances listed above, or in any of a numberless list of deal breakers the potential is there, what potential that exactly is, is completely up to you.
     Obviously, it is the potential for a full-blown argument, or on the hand, it could be the potential for a reasoned discussion of which the outcome may not change, but at least both sides of the situation have been aired and discussed. If we, in our minds, feel like we always have to win, then we are setting ourselves up for a great deal of grief and a potentially miserable life. What if we could shift our minds just a bit to the center of this process? What if we could get to a place where we understood that healthy, right relationships do not equate to you always being right?
     Right relationships do not mean you will be right all the time, some of the time, or possibly a great deal of the time. It just depends on the situation, the circumstances, and the level of significance from the outcome. Some things are not worth arguing about whether you are right or if the other person is right. I witnessed two adult men in a very neutral low energy setting escalate what started out as equal fans of the rock band the Eagles to a heated argument that almost turned into a physical altercation when they disagreed whether a particular person had ever been a member of the band. I seriously thought I was about to be in the middle of a fight over a name of a guy that might have been the drummer of a band in the 1980s! Really. Would it not have been just as easy for one or both of the "men" to have said, "Huh, I'm not 100% positive about that, I'll have to check it out later." Conversation done. And if one of the two persisted, the other could say, "Yeah, you may be right I'm not sure." Then go check it out later and see for yourself. You don't have to be right, right at the that moment.
      I'll let you place yourself in your own situations where you feel like you have to win the discussion, disagreement, or plan. If you have to win every time you get into a conversation, then that means everyone else has to lose. Are you really that all knowing? Do you have all the answers? I'm guessing if you are someone that feels you have to be right all the time you may have just answered both of those questions with a resounding "yes" in your head. Or possibly you are the person on the other side that feels like you are always giving in and you are never right, but in your mind, you feel like you have the answers it’s just that bullheaded person you are dealing with won't listen. Guess what neither one of you are 100% right. You just need to be willing to come to terms with yourself. If you are going to have healthy, right relationships, it is paramount that you understand that you won't always be right.
      When it comes to matters of principle, there is a line that you should draw in the sand. Others are entitled to their opinion, but if you are dealing with a question of right or wrong, a matter of life or death, then agreeing to disagree is always an option and should be kept as an option, but you do not and should not concede that you are wrong. In the book of Colossians Paul gave us a firm directive that speaks to our topic of discussion today. In chapter 3 Paul shares, "Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.  Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you." Bearing with each other with compassion, kindness, and patience. Are you practicing those qualities when you are standing in your kitchen debating who was supposed to take the trash out last night? Are you forgiving the other person for being a brainless twit, or are you asking for forgiveness for the person that cut you off on the highway today, praying that he or she will come to terms with their own road rage, and that you won't be drawn into a pointless argument about who was right or wrong?
    My prayer is simple here. I don't have to be right always, I want relationships that are healthy, functioning, and productive. Isn't that what we should all want deep down inside? As we close keep this thought in mind, to have right relationships, you won't always be right! 
Coach Carter

 

Halfway Up a Rugged Mountain

      
     When I started Extreme Team Wrestling back in 2013, my mission was to provide a platform where young people could develop their perseverance and resiliency through what those of us from the wrestling world call the squared circle. Hence the name "Extreme" which I related back to the scripture in Colossians 3:23 "Whatever you do in word or deed, give it all you got as you are doing it for the Lord and not for man." My translation, GO EXTREME!!, which became our trademark logo, and as Extreme expanded into volleyball, the catch phrase adorned on our spirit shirts was "Think Extreme, Play Extreme, GO EXTREME!!" I don't know about you but when Paul was teaching this critically important lesson to the people in the church in Colossae I can almost picture him blowing his whistle and shouting out words of encouragement as the believers developed their gritty mindsets through their day to day struggles. I had one of those such instances with my Extreme Team wrestlers on the side of a mountain where I conveyed the message about mediocrity which is our topic for today's Flat Tire Ministry Thought.
      The word mediocrity has Latin roots in two words medius meaning middle and ocris translated rugged mountain. In other words, if you are mediocre you are literally halfway up a rugged mountain. Well finding object type lessons to drive home a point to my athletes has always been of paramount importance to me. I believe the lessons you learn on the mat, in the gym, on the court, or out on the field are lessons you will retain throughout your life, so we as coaches better make sure they are worthy of remembering and beneficial for use in times of struggle or victory! So, how does the wrestling coach of a group of 5-13 year old wrestlers teach his team about the concept of being mediocre and the potential outcomes of not giving your best on the mat, in the classroom, or in life? We head out for a hike at Panther Creek State Park.
     As a coach, one of the main objectives I strive for is to have the athlete dig down as deep as possible into the depths of who they are or who they can potentially be and drag every ounce of that person to the forefront of their abilities and use it to be the best you, you can possibly be. It really isn't about wins and losses as much as it is about giving it all you got, digging in deeper when it would be easier to give up, or searching for the possible in the impossibility staring you right in the eyes of your soul. Dramatic? Possibly, but is life filled with one drama, one adversity, one affliction, one after another? You better believe it, so if we are going to be facing these challenges all of our lives then why wouldn't we want to develop a gritty, resilient young man or woman that can stand in the face of adversity and not give up?
      Thus, the journey up "Point Lookout Trail" a two-mile hike rated moderately difficult on the park registry. On a Saturday morning, our coaching team and about 25 boys and girls, Kindergarteners up to kids getting ready to enter high school met at the trail head for a trek to the vantage view of one of the highest points in our local state park. As we took out from the base many of the kids were bouncing out to lead the group, some running, some swinging on low hanging branches from the canopy above. As the trail turned from flat and straight to curvy and vertical many of those same grapplers were beginning to wane back a little to the middle of the pack and the enthusiasm levels were visibly diminishing. That's where a good coach sees it's time for a break. We stopped on what presented itself as an ideal stopping point, a rocky shelf jutting out of the earth in multi-tiered formations provided an auditorium like setting for the coach to share some motivation.
     Literally, we were about halfway through our hike so the appropriateness of the message was visible and tangible. "Boys and girls, we are halfway up this hill", I exclaimed. From there the message was clear and distinct. It went something like this. "We are halfway there, look around, what do you see? dirt, trees, moss, some flowers, and a bunch of rocks. Mother Nature created all this and it is beautiful, but that isn't why we chose a trail that has the word "lookout" in the title. We chose Point Lookout Trail to climb because when you get to the top that is where the view lives. We can't see that view from halfway up the mountain, that is where a mediocre view exists." I went on to explain that mediocre means halfway up a rocky mountain, exactly where we were at that moment. I shared that you can't see the view from the top if you are just mediocre. And from there the motivational opportunities just seemed to flow from my mouth much like a stream flows down through the valley.
      The bottom line from this object lesson is as applicable for you and I today as it was for those young wrestlers some seven years ago, and it will continue to be a message each of us needs to remember as long as we traverse this big round rock called home. In your job, you can give a mediocre effort, but don't expect to rise to the position in your career field that you could and should achieve. In your marriage, you can go through the motions of being a "good" husband or wife and you will survive, but don't think that your marriage will be the example you want to provide for your children to emulate in their own lives. What about when the going gets tough? Anyone out there want to be on the team with the leader that says "Well we made it halfway through this crisis, I think we probably should just quit here while we can and count our losses, it probably won't work out anyway." Not me. I want to follow leaders who are going to take me to the precipice of life. I want someone on my team in life that looks at the rugged mountain and the only thing they can see is the tip top point where we are headed, and the distance between where we are and where we are headed is just that a distance that we must journey!
      So, what about your faith? Are you halfway in and halfway out? Are you in for the long haul, up the mountain, past the rocky cliffs and steep upgrades, whatever it takes hand over foot to reach the place where God has destined you to reach? You won't, no you can't get there with a halfway there mentality. God has a plan for you, but to see that plan to feel that plan, to own it and to relish in it, you have to be all in. No mediocre attempts at being called His own. "So then because thou art lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spue thee out of my mouth." Revelation 3:16. I don't think that message needs any interpretation, it's that simple. Get in or get out, give it your best or stay with the rest, get up, get moving, and never quit! You can reach the mountain top, our wrestling team did and wow what a view the payoff provided! I encourage you today to reflect on where you are in life. Are you halfway up that mountain and find yourself nestled into the rugged rocks of this life? You don't have to be, you can pack your bags and make that trek up the side of the mountain right up to the vantage view that not everyone, unfortunately, gets to enjoy. Don't settle on being mediocre, choose to be all in and go all the way today, tomorrow, and for the rest of your life!
Coach Carter

Same Sky, Different Perspective

     
     Well I guess it was inevitable, I was proven wrong for the first time this year. Ha, if that was the first time it would be some sort of record or a miracle might be a better estimation. Yet, the circumstances under which this particular incident occurred made it a Flat Tire Thought worth sharing. In addition, the message of today's FTM is extremely applicable for our current culture and the emergence of the term "fake news".
     One day this past week, Missy and I were outside watching Ella run off the power pack full of energy she constantly has in ready supply when Missy stopped Ella to point out the moon up in the sky. Oh, did I mention that it was around 3:00 in the afternoon? Well I was situated about 10-15 feet away from where Missy was as I had found my resting spot under the canopy of trees that basically surrounds our house, and from where I was sitting there sure wasn't a moon present in the sky, and anyway it was early afternoon in my mind, definitely not time for the moon to be visible in the sky. Not only did Missy tell Ella to look up at the moon, she named it, "Come look at the crescent moon up in the sky!" So, my mind immediately decided that my wife must be mistaken, she probably was seeing some type of cloud up in the sky, because as I looked up in the sky there definitely wasn't a moon visible, and certainly not a crescent moon for sure. Being me, I decided I needed to get up from my shade protected settlement and venture over to where Missy was to dispel this tale she had created in her mind. I hated to break it to her that she was wrong, but what are husbands for anyway? Much to my chagrin, when I moved over to where Missy was sitting there settling in for the night ahead was this sliver of a rock grinning at me as if to say, "See, maybe you don't know everything after all". I owed Missy an apology, which I willingly gave, but then when I went back to my seat I almost wanted to renege on my remorse as I could no longer see the moon I just witnessed from Missy's view point. So the question came to mind, who was right? Was the moon in the sky because of where Missy was situated and had a view of it, or was the moon not really there because I could not see it from my perspective thus not being able to prove that it was really there in the middle of the daylight hours? I guess, the basic answer from the view point of science is obvious, of course the moon is in the sky and depending on the time of year and position of the moon in relationship to the sun and earth may very well be visible in part during the middle of a bright summer day.
     Yet that answer is the obvious, scientific answer. Let's hypothesize for just one second. What if I had never seen a moon, especially in the middle of the day? Could I, based on the view only 15 feet away from Missy, be correct if I said I don't see it, so it doesn't exist or at least counter with a "no it isn't in the sky you must be mistaken"? Sounds reasonable to me. But, if I happened to be Missy sitting about 10-15 feet from where I was sitting, she would think I had literally lost my mind or at least my aging vision because to her the moon was in plain, non-obstructed view. Same sky, different perspective. Think about big cities versus being on a hilltop out in the country with no light pollution at all. If all I had ever been exposed to was big city lights I may never have had the pleasure of seeing a star filled night. Does that mean it doesn't exist? By no means, but to the person that has always lived in the middle of downtown Manhattan starry nights may be something of fairy tale proportion. Same sky, different perspective.
      So, it is with the phenomenon of "fake news" in my opinion. I read a commentary on the whole debate of stay at home versus reopening businesses and social distancing versus hysteria about this novel virus. The title was "Same Storm, Different Boats". Exactly, we each have our own opinion and as far as I am aware, there isn't a way to determine whether my opinion or yours is absolute or infallible. As a matter of fact, my guess is in relation to the previous analogy whether you are right or wrong, depends a great deal on your perspective. Conservative, liberal, moderate liberal, or ultra conservative, wherever you land on the spectrum of political philosophy you probably think you are right based on your ideology and in your mind, everyone else is wrong. CNN or Fox network, Democrats or Republicans, or left wing and right wing more than likely our definition of what is exactly "fake news" is can be traced back to where you stand to the left or the right of the center.
     Does it have to be that way? Do we have to be so dad burned right? Can we not assume that the reason someone feels the way they so passionately feel about an issue or pandemic or political stance is because of the perspective they were raised or the background knowledge they possess about that specific topic? Is it really fake news or is it just that someone with a different perspective from where I am sitting sees a whole different view of the sky than I do from my disadvantaged view? When I got up and moved a little closer to Missy it was obvious that the moon was visible in the mid-afternoon, but when I went back to my seat in the shade, it was absolutely fair for me to proclaim, "I don't see it, but maybe you can from where you are sitting". Am I correct? Is my wife correct? Or is it possible that we both were correct to a certain degree and in some ways, we both could be proven to be somewhat incorrect. Call it semantics, call it perspective, call it what it is an opinion based on background knowledge, but please for heaven's sake stop calling it "fake news".
      When did it become alright to not respect someone else's opinion? Did I say respect, what about even validating that someone could potentially have a different point of view from my egotistical mindset. I fondly remember as an elementary principal meeting with parents about little Billy's behavior in class that day, or little Jenny's remarks she made about a "former" best friend. In most of those meetings we were able to come to a resolution about what the appropriate behavior should have been, and what an appropriate consequence was going to be, but in a few of those conferences the final outcome was one of us saying, "I guess we will just have to agree to disagree". That was okay! Did either side come out winning? Not what mattered. We both aired our point of view from the perspective at which we each were coming, and when we realized that we weren't going to come to a joint agreeable decision, we did what two adults should do, agree that we don't see eye to eye and then move on to bigger more important issues such as how to best educate their son or daughter.
     So, who is right? We are not going to settle that one here today, and I'm gonna go out on a limb and say we probably won't ever find an absolute answer for that one. But I can tell you this in conclusion, if we place our faith in an omnipotent, all knowing, all seeing God then it won't matter who's right or wrong. Two things to consider as we leave our time together today. One, Paul states in Romans 8:28 that "All things work together for good to them that love God to them which are called according to his purpose.” Not to our benefit or to our position on the philosophical liberal or conservative spectrum. All things work together for good according to God's plan for your life, my life, and ultimately for this big old rock on which we live. Number two, God's plans are not like our plans. We plan and forecast our ideologies based on what we perceive to be true, right, and good. The prophet Isaiah sets this straight in chapter 55:8-9 with this declaration, “For my thoughts are not your thoughts neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your way and my thoughts than your thoughts." So, before you go and get all high and mighty, just keep in mind that none of us are capable of thinking in the same frame of mind as our God, we aren't supposed to, so we need to stop labeling others as wrong and just keep in mind that from their perspective, they may or may not be able to see the moon in the sky! 
Coach Carter